Just wondering if anyone else out there have experienced their child athlete or even yourself being the target of unwarranted accusations at school? We are finding the more success our son has, they more kids accuse him of being a bully or giving them dirty looks...ect.
Some of the problem may be while he is a freshman, in Olathe, 9th grade is still in the junior high. It seems like everytime his name is mentioned on the announcements due to success he had over the weekend wrestling tournament...someone will go to the administration that day with some complaint. Administration has acknowledged there are some kids who seem to be set on being against athletes.
As parents, what can be done? Any ideas??

that is the stupidous thing i have ever heard
maybe ur kid is a bully

Acknowledge that your son is no angel and tell him to avoid those kids. It isn't too difficult.

It can happen. It is a shame but yes, sometimes, the more success a person has the more other people want to see them fall. I can speak from experience as it has happened to my own son in football and baseball. (funny, he never had a problem with wrestlers).

When my son was in grade school, he was unfortunate to be in a bad class. No one liked him. He was a great athlete that really showed when he played Salvation Football but the kids in his class would always be there to criticize every single mistake he made. Same thing happened during baseball. He could pitch 60 straight strikes but the minute he pitched one ball, they would sit and laugh. He was a straight A student in a room full of D's and F's. To them, he cheated or was a brown-noser and that is how he got the grades. Gratefully, we moved soon after. He is now in a class that is full of very talented athletes who all push each other to succeed both academically and athletically. It has been like night and day. My son would not be who he is without his wonderful classmates and friends.

Transfer to Pittsburg!!!

It’s probably because you live in affluent nationhood and you son drives a BMW! Everyone likes to pick on rich kids! It has absolutely nothing to do with athletics.

I know the kid (wrestlingparents) in question. He is a great kid - not rich, not a bully, etc.

It's sad. Yes, there are those kids who look to put others in their place (out of jealousy - everytime his name is mentioned). That's why we call them "kids". AND, I often see adults unwittingly setting that example. Sometimes even on this forum.

There is no way to control it ... every time you make it "idiot proof", they invent a new kind of idiot.

Just encourage him to encircle himself with those "of a feather".

Those accusations might have warrant. Some times our little angles are not angles in the eyes of other people. I have dealt with this before and sometimes a little tug on the reins is the answer. Find out for sure but a little talk in humility could be the answer to your problems. Kids are kids and sometimes that success goes to their head and that why we as adults have to give them a helping of humble pie.

Believe me, I do not think my kid is an angle by no mean. I am very grounded in not thinking my kid does nothing wrong. But everyone who knows him will tell you that he is not a bully...probably all the way on the other end. We think some of the problem is his size. At 14 he is 6'3" and weighs 240. According to the admin, his size is intimdating to smaller kids. So they think because they see him smash someone on the football field or produce a quick pin on someone 3 years older and 20 pounds heavier...he is a bully. How is that fair.

...these are the astute statements that make the administrators the big bucks!

I don't know the facts, but it almost sounds as if you are trying to justify something that you really know that happened. The worst thing that someone can do as far as I'm concerned is to point out that everyone is against "your kid". And yes, I do agree most the time kids react to parents comments, and what the parents themselves are saying about someones kid. And as mentioned from what I have read there is allot of my kid is all that, and he can do this so much better than your kid. And that is just how parents, and kids are taking it, where you are from. Words like smash, quick pin, 60 stright pitches that are strikes, my kid was in a class full of idiots, ECT. I have been around some very good athlete through my kids sports, and most all the top ones who have records, are the star players, who won the game, the best wrestler, and so on. I honestly can say I have never heard anything bad about those kids, unless the parents came across to everyone else that "MY KID IS THE TEAM", "MY KID WON THE GAME", and so on. Same goes even for my daughters sports. But the ones who where the target of criticism are the ones with annoying parents, blaming everone else for the lose, the ones, who my kid is all this, and that, and he did all this and the other kids suck is why the lost. Are the ones who usaully get these types of lables. The ones who are the true stars, and champions, are the ones who never brag about what they do, or did. Their parents are not constintally bragging to everyone else, that my kid did this is why we won. For they will have enough other people doing that for them that they will not need to.

First of all, I never said my kid was all that. He can be beat on any given day and he has. The kids that have been the problems do not participate in sports and I do not even know them. And I do not think everyone is against my kid. All I was seeing is if any other athletes have had this problem as the administration is telling us. We have been told this is the reason these things (which is only 2 or 3) have happened.
I have never been the parent that will brag my son is the best or he is the whole team! Does he have success? Yes and I should not have to not acknowledge his achievements, but I DO NOT ever give off the impression we think "my kid this this is why we won".

Sad for your son. I'd tell him that i feel his pain. That i know it hurts BUT that he has to learn to ignore this kind of stuff and hang out with people that will support and encourage him. In a nutshell, he has to learn how to get/have 'thicker skin'. It would be nice if everybody was nice to us, but that is not how the world works. Bottom line is, dont let a jerk ruin your day. That is being co-dependent on them. "I can't be happy UNLESS and UNTIL everyone treats me right" is a formula for misery. Learning how to ignore jerks is a great life lesson to learn. Detach from them. Their 'jerkiness' is THEIR problem - try not to make it yours. I'm not saying it is easy. But, it is a skill that needs to be learn UNLESS a person wants a life-time of misery and codependence on others for their joy/happiness.

dwelsh, Great advice!! - "dont let a jerk ruin your day." Can I use that? Seems very useful, AND poignant ... LOL.

Wrestlingparents, you were clear in your request. Last year, we experience a similar situation. Admin had the same outlook, gave the same advise, and took the same actions. RedStorm is right.

I liked what dwelsh said and share that outlook.

I think your son should move to Republic County *L* only teasing here of course

Sometimes big kids get a bad rap-

Just try to make it through the tough times with lots of love

[quote=Scott Fausset]dwelsh, Great advice!! - "dont let a jerk ruin your day." Can I use that? Seems very useful, AND poignant ... LOL.

Scott, use it all you want man! I use it and teach it - it works! However, with my students (I teach PE grades k-5) I sugar-coat it just a bit. Its not nice to label someone a 'jerk'. So, i tell a kid, if someone is ***acting like a jerk***, that is THEIR (the one acting like a jerk) problem. How sad for them! Must not have any friends, or maybe they are having a BAD day. Whatever. That is THEIR problem - when we let it make us miserable - then it ALSO becomes OUR problem. We have to teach kids to DETACH and not be CODEPENDENT.

[quote=wrestlingparents] All I was seeing is if any other athletes have had this problem as the administration is telling us. We have been told this is the reason these things (which is only 2 or 3) have happened.

*******The 'reason' is irrelevant. Weither one is an athlete or not is irrelevant. The skill that needs to be learned is DETACHMENT. The fact remains that many people in this world ACT like JERKS. We must learn to detach from them and not allow them to make us miserable. If Jesus couldn't please everyone, then it is pretty silly to think that we can! (besides, pleasing everyone should never be anyone's goal).

Again, i'm not saying it is easy to do (detach/ignore 'jerks'), but anyone who learns this skill, will be a much better person for having learned it.

CODEPENDENCY sucks. FIGHT IT!

dwelsh, Thats good advise "don't let a jerk ruin your day". As a parent and grandparent, I wish my kids would have had a teacher like you. But I would like to know what advise do you offer the kid thats the "jerk"? I think your advise could be a little more productive by helping them to respect their fellow students.

As for wrestlingparent, Being proud is one thing, but I would suggest maybe they're bragging on their kid a bit TOO much. It sounds like he's a big talented athlete, and it could be they're giving him a big head.

I have known the son of wrestlingparents since birth. I have to tell you right now that I KNOW HE IS NO ANGEL!!!! That makes no difference is what is going on. Stuff is just happening too much at school and something has to be done. It is ridiculous. He is a very good kid with a big heart and would not intentionally hurt anyone. Maybe it did happen and maybe the other one deserved it. Who knows??? Wrestlingparents I think you need to go to the school and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT BEFORE IT BECOMES A HUGE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has a great future ahead of him in whatever he decides to do, whether it be sports or school. I would hate for this junk to hurt his chances.

rjohnston - I take offense at some of your stance. I did not say my son was the best, I just said that he was in the wrong class. Listen, I don't know if it never happened to your child but kids and adults can be cruel. I have heard many comments over the years about my own son and others who are successful too. They often come from the kids and parents who LIKE to BLAME anybody else for their problems. To them, when you fail, it makes them look good because then you are on the same level as them. When you succeed, it makes them look bad so they will do anything and everything they can to try to stop you.

I will give you another story, my son's best friend worked really hard this summer so he could get a varsity starting position in football. Even though he was only a sophomore, he showed the coaches that he deserved the spot through his hard work and dedication. However, after the starting lineup was announced, he started to get harrassed in the locker room by some of the upper classman. Then, someone cut all of the tires on his car. There were even a few parents in the stand complaining that it wasn't fair that he was starting when he was only a sophomore (loud enough so his parents could hear it). It finally stopped when a senior held an "impromptu" meeting in the locker room and told the other players they had better stop and to leave him alone. He earned the position and he was the right person for the job. Now, this kid did nothing wrong but work his butt off to earn a varsity position. However, other kids who slacked off couldn't handle that he was finding success and they didn't. Instead of looking at themselves to see if there was something they did wrong, it was easier to attack him.

Another situation. Another good friend of my son started to play varsity basketball as a Freshman. The coach decided to move him from the Freshman team and into JV and some varsity. As soon as that happened, the accusitions started to fly. Everything from: "his dad is a coach in the school system" to "he must give 'favors' to the coach" came from many people, mostly from parents. It didn't matter to them that he was scoring 35-40 points per game on the freshman team and needed to move up. It didn't matter to them that he was often found on the basketball court day and night. It only mattered that he was playing and not them or their kid.

I could give you some more examples if you still don't think there is a problem. I do find it typical though that you would assume that the problem lies only with the athlete who is successful. That seems to be the mentality this days.