For the sake of not upset certain parents we are going to try and leave out names of individuals and club names. Now the reason I started this topic is because I feel like there is a lack credibility being taken for wrestler’s attitudes and coaches alike. There were a number of unsportsmanlike situations at the State tournament this past weekend which disturbed me very much. And I personally have gotten hammered for mentioning a few of them like I did something wrong but we won't go into that. Granted this is a sport of my emotions but that doesn't give anyone the right to act in an unsportsmanlike way. Though my observation I have noticed that in almost all cases a wrestlers attitude after a match is large based on how they are coached. Coaches from many other clubs allow their wrestlers to act in an unsportsmanlike way, especially if they feel their wrestler/son/daughter was "cheated" by the official. How can we expect our kids to uphold the rules of wrestling when they aren't taught that way? I will admit that sometimes I let my emotions and opinions go wild on this forum, but most of the time they based on fact. If I point out something that happened, someone reply’s to me telling me that I have no place saying what I said, and that their son/daughter has every right to act the way they do because they are "good" kids. I just want people to be accountable for their actions. That is part of the reason why I post under my real name, if I have something to say im not going to get on here and post anonymously. Unfortunately I don't see the situation improving because they are always those people who think they are justified. Coaches should not be afraid to say "Hey if you act this way, you will not wrestle for us anymore" I know one place where this is the case, and Im sure you can guess where that is. It is a privilege for a kid to get to wrestle for a club, not a right granted by the government. I encourage anyone to respond to this in an intelligent manner, and not take shots at me because I've gotten plenty of that already. I want your opinions on holding kids and coaches accountable for their actions on the mat.

Nigel,
I agree that there needs to be some sort of accountability, however, I don't agree that this is the venue to do it. It has bothered me because often times, it is adults who are belittling kids on the internet. In my opinion, that's just plain wrong. Like when a kid throws a fit on the mat and singling him out. To me that is terrible.

What it seems to me is that sometimes this forum has been abused as a way to vent on how a person feels "cheated".

I also don't like the fact that some have used the forum as a way to attack the credibility of an adult. There are a few coaches, parents, and officials out there that I have no respect for whatsoever. However, that is a private matter between me and the person I lack respect for. Nine times out of ten, the person I don't respect doesn't care, so the point is useless. Posting on the internet doesn't make me more right and him more wrong, it makes me a jerk for posting my personal bias on the net.

As for accountability and credibility, in the perfect world, you would hope that we would be. The reality is that we're not. You would hope that a club would remove a coach that was behaving improperly, but it doesn't happen.

As bad as I hate to admit it, Nigel may have hit on something here! That being, public ridicule for public misbehavior.
Our sport being less popular than some other sports, mostly those played with a ball of some type, must do things that those other sports don't in order to be successful and grow. We as fans/supporters have to out work our opponents (see the "bb" word), just to keep up. We have for instance a youth organization that is much more developed and run in an orderly fashion than any other organization. Some are beginning to catch up but still have miles to go. Try finding a youth web page and message board for some other sport.
So, why not take our sport to the next level? One which tolerates no unsportsmanlike conduct from adults or athletes alike. No matter how bad the officiating or any other excuse, we do not tolerate bad sportsmanship. I have a personal policy that I don't talk about athletes in the first person in a negative light. Regardless if they're kids, high school or college age. But I can see where public ridicule within certain guidelines might be of benefit to curb the problem.
I would suggest that some rules be established in order to maintain the credibility of the ridicule.
1. Just a recommendation but I would prefer we start with coaches/parents first. Then if the problem persists we can discuss the wrestlers.
2. Eye witness accounts only. No, he said she said, stories.
3. If you choose to use the name of the individual, you better make sure you are correct as to the person in question.
4. No embellishment of the incident. Just the facts please.
5. You must be willing to attach your name and club affiliation to your post.
Possibly there are others that I have missed. Your thoughts please.

This is a very emotional sport. Our director, after many times our head coach has told the kids to get off the mat and take it outside, had a club meeting. He told all the kids and the parents they would be pulled from a tournament because of such behavior. For the most part it straightened the wrestlers out. That is the place to single the kids out. Not on this forum for all wrestling fans to read. If they wrestled for your club......you are not the only one with all your wisdom that knows how to coach. I read these posts everyday. Nigel you make it difficult when you on one hand delete a post but throw a jab at the mom. They can't take it, wah. Early in this post you didn't want to upset certain people. If you would leave those jabs out perhaps people would be more interested and take more seriously what you have to say. Make suggestions in general. You will not FIX anything on this web jabbing at people then taking another jab because someone is offended. Getting so much in anothers misery must be a really lonely life. I stated earlier my son lost a match he was winning. Standing up with his head next to his knee he got caught in a cradle. That was a tough loss. That was a learning experience. Matt was mad & hurt, expectations, his and others. I don't know what I was but I like to think we learned from our head coach and director. I really don't know what others thought but I'm grateful nobody singled us out or made fun of us on this forum. We made progress and that's what we should all strive for. Progress not perfection.

first off i want to say that my name is kc roberts. my sons have wrestled for a number of years, and grown up and have sons of their own who wrestle, and i enjoy watching them as much as i have my own sons. i attend a lot of tournaments for the love of wrestling and nothing better to do than to watch the young.
yes there are kids who vent their frustration of losing that attracts attention, and sometimes for than others, and yes it should be addressed by the clubs if it is taken on the mat, or at someone else. parents and coaches do over react to the kids a lot, but than there are those that do not.
i have 2 questions for coach isom.
1. when and in what manner is a wrestler allowed to vent their frustartion?
2. is it not fair to say that if the loser is not allowed emotion, than the winner should not be allowed either because that is just a disruptive at times, and also when a winner show emotion if not a dig so to speak at the wrestler who lost.
(meaning ha ha i beat you?)
i for one agree whole heartedly with the rest of the post that the kids should not be slammed so to speak. no wrestler deserves it.
i also want to take this moment to thank all the wrestlers for the enjoyment that you have given me these past 5 years.

My son lost a close match at the state tournament this past weekend. He was upset (entirely at himself) regarding the match. He literally went in one year from zero to a contender for a state championship. He won over 40 matches this past season, never lost his temper or acted out but was pretty emotional after his loss in the semi's. I sat with him by the dasher boards and offered him nothing but positives emphasizing all of his great effort and improvement this year. He took some time to settle himself down and did recover and come back and win a couple of more matches.

Later the next day, i had a mother of another wrestler come up to me and told me that i had wrongly "gotten on" my boy following his loss. She was under the impression that i was chewing his butt for losing. I appreciated her concern but i think it illustrates the very fact that perception is not reality all the time. I think we need not be quick to judge others.

I have to agree that there is to much criticism and negative things said to the kids after they lose a match. I have always told my boys that it doesn't matter to me if they lose or win because everybody is going to. The only thing I ask of them is to go out and wrestle their hardest and don't give up. I was a wrestler in high school and never made it to state. Not saying I didn't put effort towards it, it just didn't go my way. I've always told my boys to respect people. Sure they get dissappointed at themselves for losing but that is life. As a coach, dad it is my duty to help them through it and to help make them better kids. I get really emotinal when it comes to kids because I have a soft heart. I'm a big kid myself. So it is important to be the role model for these kids and not be negative on the way they've wrestled just make them better

After I lost in the finals at kids state. I think I freaked out during the match and lost it all. It was a close match to. I never threw a fit or anytime or whenever I win, I don't make a big deal about it. I don't see why kids throw a fits? What can that do? Make a big public display of yourself..I did not see alot of people throw a fit around the mat I was wrestling on.