*** Clearly the father in this incident disagrees with some peoples judgement of the situation. His response was passionate and a bit too much for this forum. I will continue to watch this thread closely!! ***

i JUST WANT PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT THIS EMOTIONAL SPORT AND PEOPLE ARE CHALLENGING ME AS A FATHER NOW AND HOW I RAISED MY SON TO SEE FIT, MY INTENTIONS ARE ALWAYS PURE AND NOT A FAKE PERSON I FEEL. THANK YOU

I do aplogize for the incident a appologize for my son throwing the gear across the floor as well. I mean no harm to anyone this sport is like boxing you have to have will and determenation. Obviousley we both have something to learn but please dont judge me unless you saw what happened begining to end when I took my son in the cafeteriA with his uncle who was coaching we told him thats not exceptable but my son and I two of a like we get we get mad I had to get the upper hand before things got out of control, he is very passionate about wrestling and not losing obviousley nobody like to lose but remember we are all just people I am gonna make mistakes as a person and as a dad but I would not and did not hurt I have a way of raising my three kids right or wrong its the way I do things please respect that if anything, people do not have to like me but I have never questioned a refs or coaches ability beacuse we are human I am not a monster just a very passionate parent helping my son succeed in his pursuit of his goals not mine! I have played my sports and lived long enough to know see parents live threw there kids not me I have my metals and trophies still just hope to seee my son achieve farther than whAT I did(YOu always want better for your kids as would you all) Thank you jonathan

Great response Jonathan! A lot of times peoples interpretations of an action will be somewhat judgemental!!

The sport of wrestling can be a growing experience for ALL involved!

Jaragusta,

I come in peace to give you some advice. I should say that I did not see the incident, so I can't comment on this particular case, but I have seen numerous incidents over the last few years.

Everybody here knows that wrestling is an emotional sport. Because they understand that, they are willing to accept some tantrum issues with young children. No one will object if you try to correct tantrum/bad sportsmanship behavior as long as you do it in a non tantrum/good sportsmanship way. Nobody, however, is willing to accept abusive behavior issues with adults like you and me, and we shouldn't accept it in ourselves. Don't try to make it okay by explaining the reason. There is no acceptable reason to be that way to young children, and you need to work on correcting the behavior rather than explaining it.

Sometimes all we can do is say we are sorry and truly try to learn from our mistakes and correct them. This sounds like one of those times.

absolutley I have to agree but people make it like I was swearing or hitting my son never ever would that happen,he was angry about losing, I took him by the arm and got onto him for his throwing gear NOT beacuse he lost he lost big deal losing is just as good as winning i have learned makes you work harder

Thanks for responding Jonathon and being receptive to some constructive critisism. None of us are perfect, we want our children to do better than us, and we can always learn from mistakes. I think there has been some good advice provided and this can be turned into a positive. Sounds like another incident with VC occured after we made an early exit. Thats too bad. Mike

Again, I didn't see what happened, so I'm speaking in general terms here. We don't always have to hit or swear to be in the wrong. Yelling at anyone for any reason is seldom helpful. We are the adults and we are continuously teaching our kids by example. You say he threw headgear and was angry. That is a very 6 year old thing to do. It's not what we as parents want, but it's going to happen. Teach him that blowing a gasket is wrong by not blowing a gasket. He wants to be like you so lead the way.

absolutley my son wrestled boy from VC and beat him in tough match the dad than got up told the ref "something inappropriate" OBVIOUSLEY he than he was ejected was angry but nothing about that because crowd was all but gone and hey the guy was mad i even talked to him after he told me well you and are probably the two least guys liked around here did not understand what he ment until today thanks again guys for talking not trying to lynch me up.

I do not understand most of what I read from some parents on the kids forum, but then, I am an older mom. My son only started wrestling as a high school freshman. I can say that in 4 years of high school wrestling and 3 years of Kids 14u & 16u, I have only once seen a parent behaving badly. I cannot imagine a high school coach or referee putting up with the kind of scenes I hear about from the parents of these very young kids. Maybe that is because the parents are IN THE STANDS. We may grumble to ourselves, but it is very important to be good role models to our sons and to positively represent our school and community to the other teams. My 18 year old son was appalled to see that his 6 year old nephew's bb team kept score and that the coach was running up the score on the other team. He seems to have the right attitude about what should be important to our young athletes - to have fun and learn.

Just another thought. Maybe the difference is that in high school wrestling you really are part of a team. What you do does affect the entire team - including penalty points. It is definately not just about you and your son. Also, the coach's role is much more influential to the high school wrestler and parents should take a few steps back. I guess that is a lot harder with very young kids and I suppose the parents may be pretty young themselves.

And I did not hit nor swear at my boy at all just got control of the situation which had already got out of hand before it was to late, it had already began the second my boy lost he is 6 and very young but talented wrestler with a huge heart.Did any of you see him blow up at me again afetr he lost his second time? He ripped off 5 straight wins than lost probably not ultimatley it;s between father and his boy he lost blamed me for whatever reason and I excepted that the time he is 6 not 30 ok.There is no right nor wrong no good guy bad guy just parents 100 differant ways that they would have handle it. But you really cant sit tell me honestly I would have handles it because it was not you guys sorry..Jonathan

But if anything this is a true wake up call for some and some may not just have to breath hold on tight hope that things work out for the best.

Please remember that it will not be too long before you may be physically unable to jerk your son by the arm and march him off the mat. These boys do grow into pretty strong, tough young men. Long before that day arrives, you had better have established a good relationship and method of dealing with problems that involves talking and consequences, not physicality or yelling.

Yes You are right but i was not being physical with my boy we spank them does not mean there gonna grow up to beat people for silly reasons,nor does me taking my boy by the arm justify a physical confrontation later down the road either right? Thanks for the advice though Jonathan

jaragusta - I feel your pain. We are all human. I have yelled at my kids occasionally (3 girls that don't wrestle). It happens and I HATE WHEN IT DOES. But, I am always quick to calm down, apologize and ASK FOR THEIR FORGIVENESS (merely saying 'I'm sorry' is easy - you still have the 'power' - try asking for HIS forgiveness - much tougher. Much BETTER.)

And, not all brains are created alike. Some of us have ADD or Bi-polar which makes things such as what was described more common and difficult to handle appropriately. This is the case for me (having a mental disorder). This is not an excuse, but rather an explaination for the behavior that others see and have to live with.

Just because an illness is 'invisible' - doesn't mean that it doesn't truly exist. (IE. Can you see diabetes? What about heart disease?)

It sounds like you are on the right path. You might want to add that 'forgiveness' part. It is truly amazing and healing.

Best of luck to you.

I would like for everyone to know that the Augusta person in question here while is very loud and passionate of his child is very supportive of him. Like many blogs this one was taken out of context. I was not talking about any one from Augusta, at this point if you were not there I will not say who I was talking about. I would like to apologize to jagusta if others thought I was talking about you. You are a great dad and supporter of your child. Unfortunately you’re just a bit louder than most. (That is Ok). I wish you continued success in the future and do not worry about the stuff on these Boards.

Hey thanks big red I do appreciate the competiotion that our two boys wrestled sunday that first match and do appreciate sticking up for me but these comments may or may not have cost me a huge misfortune of moving to another team, because comments that were posted got back to people that did not get all the facts and well you can take back words but they always stick with you mentally kinda like when you do something wrong to someone that person may not trust you as much next you ask for something but yes i am very passionate with my daughter and sons just today i got all three in the yard plaing catch with a 6,4,3 old in the wind showing too little ones how to play ball wrestling is over and on the back burner, but people have to realize that room is a tool and a weapon as well that can drive wedges between people, I know that you matmom had no intentions of this as did probably no one else but people please realize to think and get all the facts of the case before we judge as I said we are all huans and we have real and raw emaotions and our children we wear on our sleeve but we all keep them tucked away in our hearts trying to keep them from any harm that is our jobs as parents and thats just what we do..Jonathan oh ya tell little C I wil be looking forward to next years tourneys and what a way to come on hes up 2-1 on my boy we got some carching up to do lol good night....

Amen matmon. Well said. Nothing wrong with being LOUD. Some called it 'passion' or 'enthusasiam'! Without it, little of value gets done. And if there is a parent out there that acts like they have 'never' lost it with their kids a time or two or three . . . - I DONT BELIEVE THEM. I have three of my own and I have taught elementary PE for 19 years. I love ALL KIDS. But, occasionally I have 'lost it'. So have all my honest peers that are vulnerable to speak the truth . . . I am not Jesus Christ or the Buddah. I'm a sinful human that occasionally says and does bad things. However, on a positive note, I'm usually quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness. These are much better things to role model than the impossible (perfection).

All would do well to ENJOY and APPLY the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5swQa8V5LTM

I bet Epictetus would have had no problem admiting to yelling at a kid a time or two: (again - i LOVE all kids and I am not excusing the behavior - I am saying the only real answer to the behavior is to apologize and ask for the victim's forgiveness and then try not to repeat the offense):


"Don't be afraid of verbal abuse or criticism.

Only the morally weak feel compelled to defend or explain themselves to others. Let the quality of your deeds speak on your behalf. We can't control the impressions others from about us, and the effort to do so only debases our character.

So, if anyone should tell you that a partcular person has spoken critically of you, don't bother with excuses or defenses. Just smile and reply, 'I guess that person doesn't know about all my other faults. Otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned only these.'"

Epictetus