Whew, another folkstyle season in the books. I have been reflecting today, looking back on this season as well as the other two seasons that I have been involved with kids wrestling as a parent/coach. I have learned a great deal over the last 3 years, some good & a lot not so good. After watching my 10 year olds state champ aspirations crumble I was forced to take inventory to discover what went wrong, where could we have practiced more? What tougher tournaments should we have gone to? Were we at the right weight? Was he committed? Did he put in the time? What if this? Should have that! HOW COULD I HAVE PREPARED HIM MORE FOR THIS EVENT?! Then it came to me. He's 10 year old!
He is not a soldier nor is he a professional athlete. He is a little boy that more then anything wants to make his Daddy & his coaches happy. Some where along the line over the past 3 years it stopped being fun. It became a mission where failure in his eyes as well as mine was not an option. This morning, he advised that he did not want to go to Brute Adidas, nor did he want to wrestle Freestyle/Greco this year. He said he was tired. He's never tired or at least would never admit it. Folks, the free advice for the day is, keep it fun! Winning is not the only thing that makes wrestling fun, Alex won over 40 matches this year & by yesterday he just wanted it all to go away. Keep in perspective why we are there & who we are there for. If it's for you, I suggest you take a good look as I have been forced to do.
We will not be wrestling at Brute, as of now we will not be wrestling Freestyle/Greco this year. We will not be checking weight or shadow wrestling, I will not be on this forum. We are offically on Vacation. God willing we will recharge our batteries & come back next season with much more focus on what the participant wants rather then the fan clubs wants. Take care & God bless,

But don't forget about the life lessons that we should be teaching them. Life is tough, wrestling is tough. When our jobs quit being fun, do we quit them? No. Anything worth having is not easy. I realize he didn't say he quit, just for the year, but if he wants to make himself better, he ought to put out a little more. I can't imagine him not having fun at FS greco. That is the most laidback part of wrestling I've seen for the most part.

I know I said I was done but had to comment on this one. doug747, this is one of the most ignorant statements I have ever read on this forum. FYI, the 10 year old kid I am speaking about has not had more then 1 week off in almost 2 years. That's right, all summer, fall, winter,spring up to 15 hours a week with drive time. folkstyle, to freestyle/greco to wrestling camp to Purler at Cokelys barn. So..... where should the little more you speak of come from?

Patrick, I have watched Alex grow over the last year and have enjoyed our visits over the last months. Wrestling is an emotional rollercoaster, every practice, match, and tournament. Not only for you the parent/coach but especially for the child that never wants to disappoint. You can’t be more correct in your comments above, keep it in perspective and keep it fun. While there are life lessons to be learned more in this sport than any other it is important to find the right balance. Alex’s commitment to getting better over the last year is amazing and his success will come. However, please don’t measure this success by win/loss records or brackets on the wall. To only consider these would be missing all the important things. Your words hold a lot of truth in my mind and while it is easy to get caught up in the moment/season etc, it is important to take time, step away and reflect on the direction we are taking our kids. Thank you for helping me do just that as well! While Tanner is disappointed in his results as well and understands what it will take next year to improve, he is on to flag football and (hopefully soon) chasing lighting bugs!

Enjoy your summer!

Jeff

Easy there fella. Before you call me ignorant, reread my post. Number one, you hadn't stated the part about 2 years straight, no break. That is crazy. You answered your own question, but didn't put that in your first post. Only a few special kids can do it year round and not take a break. My kid ain't one of them. If my kid asks for a break, I'll first remind him that the kids trying to either get ahead, or catch him, are still working hard. He has a choice to either take the break, or think about falling behind. It is a tough choice. And when I say he asks for a break, that is considering that we don't do it year round. Wrestle from November thru mid april, FS GReco a few nites per week, a few FS greco tourneys, a 5 day hammer camp in Ohio late summer, football in the fall. We do enough in the offseason to keep his nose in it, but once the season starts, we go pretty hard.

Take a deep breath and let the kid be a kid. Had I known the info from your second post, I would have known the answer to the question that you were subtly asking.

I have learned a ton this year from, numerous coaches (Mr. Smith, Mr. Beeson, Mr. Ayala, Mr. Fitzmeir, Mr. Schroeder) just to name a few.. And as a coach and a parent would like to thank all of them for their advise, whether taken or not.. As coaches/parents I feel we may have the hardest job in the world, keep ALL the kids happy along with MOMMA.....I can truly say the hardest thing I had to learn this year is not every kid is made to wrestle (my 6u compared to my 8u) It took my wife to make me relize that one has natural talent and the other one has to work for it..I took for granted that my little one was going to be as good as my older one, Gabe is a decent wrestler, but I have been told by momma to quit comparing him to his older brother.. That is the dad in me not the coach....

To all the coaches I have talked to and become friends with I say thank you!! Sometimes we need outside advise or a pat on the back from someone outside our own clubs just to make our job worth while!!!!

Taking a break to play baseball and see you all next year!!!

Eric (Greater Gold)

Patrick,

I hope you and Alex enjoy the time off. We all need to step back and recharge periodically. What you have learned is very true. If I may be so bold, I will add a few additional things that I have learned as we are at the end of our kids club wrestling lives.

Your son may yet be a state champion. You mention Cokeley's barn. Ryne is a perfect example of a kid who was a good wrestler at age 10, but a great wrestler by age 14 and a high school state champion as a freshman. He didn't place as a 10 year old either.

My son made it to state a lot, placed sometimes, but never won it all. He is a good wrestler through hard work, but is not a natural at the sport. The struggle has made us closer and him a better person. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved for him to have won 7 state championships, but I am so very proud of the effort and the dedication and the character and the sportsmanship that he has displayed over the last several years. He's lost matches that I thought he should have won and won matches that I thought he should have lost. Even though we've left Topeka disappointed, I wouldn't change a thing because I know those disappointments have helped make him into the man I see him becoming.

A 40 win season with a district championship is something for Alex to be very proud of and I know after the sting goes away you will all realize what a great year it has been.

Have a good break.

I agree with you doug747. Kids have to have a life outside of wrestling (no matter what the age), or they may end up completely hating competition. Like I said in another post, I know a guy who was a 5-time kids state champ and didn't even wrestle in HS. I also know a guy who wrestled several years in kids, never qualified for state, and turned out to be the best wrestler in his weight in the entire state his senior year of HS. I don't think this is true in this case, but it seems like the times when there is a ton of pressure on kids to do well in wrestling at a young age is when the parent wasn't even a wrestler. They seem to think that more time and more money will always equate to more success. I believe most former successful wrestlers that are parents know what it takes to become a HS state champion, and being a kids state champion isn't necessarily one of those.

There is very few kids I have seen in wrestling that are as willing to put in the hours & effort as alex. Its tough to see your son try so hard & not reach there goals. My oldest son worked & drilled & went to every practice he could & was one match from placeing & lost. I know the feeling pat. You do all you can, your son does all he can & then loses out fair & square. The victory is the time us fathers get to spend with our sons because of wrestling. I know alex he will be back stronger than ever.

Patrick,
I must say, I feel your pain. It was hard to hear the first time Ethin said he wanted a break from wrestling. He has said it a couple of times. He started wrestling when he was 5, so this was his 7th year. When I look back, I can see that he knew what was best for him. After each "break" he has come back refreshed, more dedicated & more confident. In fact this year he wants to do some FS/Greco!
He was disappointed after his loss on Sunday, one match away from placing. But FJ & his other wrestling Dads/coaches all told him that it was just another match. You learn from all your losses. We reiterated that our goal is not just for him to be a kids state champ but to become the best wrestler, competitor, and person he can be. He is sharpening all his tools to become a high school and college champion. If along the way he wins a couple of kids state championships that will be just icing on the cake.

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Preparing a kid for state is a year long struggle. Here's what works for us. I always see my son as the under dog and that's how we approach each match. From the beginning of the season I wrestle my son in a heavier weight class so he gets manhandled by a few kids. It jars his confidence and brings him down. then we go home, watch the film and work on better technique. I have always been told without loss, you can't learn to be a winner. Every time my son lost we had a new opportunity to get better. Break em down and build em back up. In the end he may not have the best record, so who cares! The important thing is that he improved week to week. In every sport it's important not to peek to early and have overconfidence going into a final. Pride and overconfidence has lost many a championships. Tournaments are practice for the big show at the end of the year, so what if he gets first. There is also many variables in each persons workout that can change this philosophy such as practice partners,coaches, ect. The one thing I can say is MOST IMPORTANT is setting a personal goal that is reachable. State champ may be to high, state qualifer may be acceptable, or top 6. If these goals are achieved then your a winner.