I have a problem that I am sure some of you more seasoned parents can give advice on. My two sons are 7 & 5. The 5 year wrestled last year. The 7 year old, started last year but we pulled him out due to grades suffering. Restarted him this year with what we thought was a fresh start. Well little brother has became pretty good and big brother gives it his best but falls short. The 7 old mentally prepares for matches, cheers on teammates, and gives 100 %. The 5 year old has short attention span, he puts the headgear on wrestles, and goes back to the stands. This drives older brother mad that little brother succeeds and he cannot get a win. I try to enforce brother has a year on him, and he is an excellent teammate to cheer on his teammates. Which leads me to my question, what do you do not to lose one son do to the success of the other? All advise appreciated.

Maccat,

I recommend you re-define success for both of them. At this age I would not define success as win vs loss. The reason I say this is because at this young of an age there are too many variables that cause a kid to win or lose. Most of them are due to personality, aggressiveness, etc and do not involve a lot of good wrestling technique.

If you have them focus on things like trying different moves, giving their best effort, practicing hard, etc. then as they get older and are more mature it is easier for them to orry about winning and losing. An example is have them focus on trying the takedown they were taught in practice or whatever move they were taught that week. Emphasize that. This will help them focus on practice and getting good at their technique. It will also keep it interesting and challenging for them.

Most of all....make sure they are having fun and learning to love wrestling and the thrill of competition.

Hope this helps.

Shawn Budke

My sons are two years apart as well. They both have different outlooks on the sport. I did start them the same year meaning one was seven and the other nine, however younger brother had awesome first year. One thing to explain is that at least half the wrestlers your 7 year old goes against, has two more years experience than the wrestlers your 5 year is competing with. This might help put it in perspective for him. Now, with either son, I focus on their effort on the mat. Not the win or lose. Let's face it, if you want them to go anywhere with it, they have to love it. Hope this helps. My heart is with you because I have been there.

I worry some about this myself. Both my boys started last year and they are 11 months apart. The older one took right to it while the younger one struggled and has to work harder. The older one has taken 1st at a couple novice tournaments and the younger has just missed and gotten 2nd. I think it really bugs him to always be chasing behind. BUT, the aspects we have to look at are, my boys are not blood brothers. The older comes from a wrestling back ground and very determined. The younger one has isn't as agressive. Also his dad doesn't allow him to wrestle on his weekends so he gets only half the mat time the older boy does. They are both coming along really well this year and will be moving on to open tournaments soon. I know my younger boy will get his first gold medal this year.

Just make sure you recognize with each of them that you see them as 2 different people who have different styles in their wrestling and each of them will have their wins and losses. Your older boy will appreciate his more having to work harder at it.

I think one of the best lessons that wrestling teaches children is not only how to win gracefully, but to lose gracefully also. Sports teach children discipline and individual sports like wrestling teach children to be responsible for their successes and in turn failures. It also teaches us that sometimes life is not fair. Some children are blessed with some natural abilities that others are not. Some kids work three times as hard just to be average wrestlers. There's no magic formula that says you can beat the lazy kid as long as you work harder. It is a proven fact though that if you work hard, you will get better. Sometimes that's all you can hope for. I've been there myself with my two boys. One of them is just more naturally talented. Everything comes easy for him and the other has to work really hard. You

You can't NOT be happy for the one who is winning just because the other is not but I sometimes still feel guilty. For me the key has been realizing that they are two very different kids with different strengths and weaknesses and that's what makes them special. They are still really young and as they grow and mature, so many things will change.

This problem is an age old problem that no one has solved yet. No easy answer for this.

WwcMama, very well put. Wrestling may come easier for my older boy, but give them a football and the younger one comes out on top. So it's a give and take. They will equal out eventually in finding their own strengths.

Thanks for all the advice. I try to enforce that he is his own person. Also that it isn't about the wins or losses. I have told him that as along as continues to get better and practices what he is taught the wins will come. I explained that as long as he enjoys it we support him in it. It is hard for him to see this but as long as he keeps giving it all he has there nothing to hang his head about. His brother is built to be wrestler. I know he will probably be, dare I say it, a better basketball player than his brother but he loves wrestling for now. Thanks again for the advice.

Try having twin boys that are the same weight. My twins first year they wrestled the same weight but always had the better of the two in A brackets and he was having a lot of success. His brother wasn't in the B brackets. Then came sub's and guess what they had to wrestle on the back side in the quarters. After a 18-16 final score Braden who was in B brackets all year had knocked his brother Matthew out of sub's. Worst day ever as a dad/coach. Now three years later they still weigh the same but are wrestling two different weights. Hard lesson learned.