Sounds good to me. But specifically the Dad that started the thread said that his son doesn't want to wrestle her, primarily for religious reasons (I believe).

So, I think the real question is 'should' a parent 'force' a kid to not abide by their own convictions? What kind of message does that send to a kid?

And, as someone else on here wisely stated, some boys just flat out don't feel comfortable touching girls in certain areas of their bodies. That is understandable.

I understand life is not a bowl of cherries and that we all have to do things we don't like all the time but I think the bigger questions here are:

Should we make a young man wrestle someone of the opposite gender even if it is against their religious convictions?

And, if we do the above, are we as a parent ready, willing, wanting and able to deal with all the emotional problems that young man might possibly get as a result of being forced or 'guilted into' something against his convictions?

Wrestling is a sport that teaches you lessons for life. Tayton is a really neat kid and great wrestler. As long as whatever he takes away from this is a positive then it is the right decision for both of you. I have always told my kid that no matter who puts their foot on that line across from you they deserve your respect and best effort. Look forward to seeing you guys at Districts.

Since I am a female, I will give my 2 cents worth. I think your son needs to consider his definition for having respect for women. Is it based on how he would like to treat women, or is it based on how women want to be treated? This is something that he will face later in life also. If he is in the military, will he not be able to treat female soldiers as equals? If he is in a position to hire someone for a physical job, will he refuse to hire a woman and then face discriminatory charges? Those may be far-fetched examples, but it's all about the mindset. Show respect for those girls/women who want and deserve to be treated as equals.

Thank you for all your thoughts. I sat down with Tayton and let him no that no matter what he chooses to do that it would not make him a coward nor will it make him less of a young man. At the end of the day it is his decision and I WILL NOT FORCE HIM TO STEP ON THE MAT!! if he wrestles her I will be proud of him if he walks over to the table and scratches I will be proud of him. Thanks again

I am sure we all want to know how this whole thing ends. Keep us posted.

How can you be disrespectful to a girl by wrestling her? She chose to wrestle. She knows that she may be tied up like a pretzel.(or that she may tie someone up like a pretzel) She knows the "risks" before she steps on the mat. Now, if a boy was standing in the middle of a wrestling mat, and some gal accidentally wanders onto the middle of the mat, the boy heard a whistle somewhere (me whistling at a hot novice mom), and blasted her and roughed her up, then that might be considered abusive..................Go try to kick her butt, just like she is going to try to kick your son's butt.....

I thought Momma Eck took your whistler away!

Perfect! BIG GRIN!!!

Nope, she still slaps me........which is kind of the reverse of this topic.........she should treat me better than that.......

What if he just feels extremely uncomfortable grabbing and cluctching a girl due to her having a different anotomy than him? How about respecting his right to wrestle whoever he wants to wrestle? I respect her right to wrestle whoever she does or does not want to wrestle.

Freedom is a good thing. What is the opposite of freedom?

We have had the pleasure of meeting tayton on the mat...Top notch kid for sure. And now reading this and wondering to myself am I teaching my boys right?? Who knows. But i would respect their wishes in any life affecting matter..

we respect you tayton regardless of the decision you make. It takes a man to make a choice like he is. And you will be rewarded for it as well.

Cya in goodland.

Dean - the boy's father stated that his son did not want to wrestle the girl because of an issue of respect for her. Now if the problem is in fact that the boy is uncomfortable because of anatomy or sexuality or whatever, then I find that perfectly understandable and I would respect his feelings. I am sure that plenty of boys don't want to be 'grabbing and clutching' other boys either - and it is their right to not choose wrestling (lol). Whether male or female, it is by nature a contact sport.

Hi Wildcat,

When the father first posted, here is part of what he wrote:


His exact words were " I will not wrestle a girl no matter if it is at subs or for a state title the bible says to treat woman with respect"

Dean now says . . . if you'd like, go back to page 1 and read Chief's and usawks1 responses. I agree with their responses 100% and they said it in a much more concise manner than me. I tend to get to rambling . . .

Enough said. There appears to be two camps. B/W camps. I can respectfully agree that we disagree and that all the arguing in the world will not change any bodies mind on the topic.

I think the Dad made the right choice.

Freedom!!! Convictions!!! Those are what made are country great . . . and a lack of those two things (the gov't is TOOO BIIIGGG) is one of the main reasons we are in the big mess that this nation is currently in.

OK. I'm rambling again. STOP. Grin.

Take care.

It has been said countless times on here that wrestling teaches life lessons like no other sport, yet then the same people say "wrestle your opponent, its part of the sport no matter who it is". Seems to me this young man has already learned some pretty big life lessons much more important than a wrestling match at 11 years old, and is acting on what he has learned. Let the boy carry out his beliefs whatever they are and what matters more than anyone on here's opinion is that his dad is obviously letting him stand up for what he believes and has his back. Great job Mr. Teeter on the morals and beliefs you have instilled in your son and even better having his back when he acts on them.

Well said 4422.

I respect his right and freedom (and admire his convictions) to chose not to wrestle her. Who am I to judge? Who is any body to judge?

I respect her right and freedom and courage to wrestle boys.

I respect them both. Is that so hard to do?

My money is on the girl winning either way!

Well said right back at ya Dean. Good Point. Not our son or daughter = not our business.

Tony Miller

I agree completely that it is their choice/right/decision to wrestle or not to wrestle. It's not up to me. But still I can disagree with that decision. Like you said, Dean, we just have fundamentally different viewpoints. I guess I have a problem with wrestlers picking and choosing their opponents. If my son ever suggested that he did not want to wrestle an opponent because the other wrestler is black - I would have a big big problem with that (and my son would suffer the consequences)! And if my son ever wanted to forfeit a match because he heard that the opponent is gay - I would have a problem with that too. Like some others have said - just wrestle whoever shows up. Wrestling by nature puts the participants in uncomfortable positions - physically, emotionally, etc. In fact, I would say it's the most uncomfortable sport I can think of. I would not do it. But for those who sign up, just wrestle.

SOME OF YOU MAY NEVER COMPLETLY UNDERSTAND THIS SITUATION AND SOME OF YOU THAT FORCE YOUR KIDS ON THE MAT WILL SUFFER THE CONSIQUENCES FROM THAT LATTER WHEN YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER COMES TO YOU AND SAYS HE OR SHE DOES NOT WANT TO WRESTLE ANYMORE.I DIDNT EVER ASK FOR ANYBODY TO MOCK AGREE OR DISAGEREE I ASKED WHAT WOULD YOU DO. WE MUST ALL REMEMBER THIS IS KANSAS KIDS WRESTLING NOT HIGH SCHOOL NOT COLLEGE. THE MORALS THAT WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT. IAM NOT SAYING THAT THE MORALS THAT MY WIFE AND I TRY TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN IS RIGHT OR WRONG IT IS WHAT WE BELIVE. BUT I DO BELIEVE THE MORALS EACH ONE OF US INSTILL IN OUR KIDS WILL BE WHO THEY ARE LATTER IN LIFE. ARE YOU SURE YOUR KIDS ARE WRESTLING FOR THEM, OR ARE THEY WRESTLING FOR YOU!!!!! WHATEVER DECISION HE MAKES IT WILL NOT BE THE WRONG ONE AS LONG HE IS AT PEACE WITH IT!
TRACY WEETER

"the opposite of freedom?"

That is a loaded question but it might be, a bunch of adults trying to impart their ethics and morales onto an eleven year old that has his own convictions and beliefs! (imo)

If he thinks that it is not right (to wrestle a women) ... whom am I to suggest he's mistaken!!