I'm so tired of going to tournaments and watching kids of ALL ages being poor sports. I've seen kids throw their headgear, tell their coaches to "shut up", fall to their knees and not shake hands, and my most favorite is watching a coach who has to physically hold the kids arm and move it up and down so he'll shake hands. I think the refs should be allowed to disqualify these kids from the tournament when they do this. Kids won't learn sportsmanship unless their taught it.

Referees are allowed to disqualify kids from tournaments for this behavior, although most of the time we don't. I guess its because we truly believe that eventaully the coach will get a handle on the kid and teach them sportmanship.

Not only coaches, but parents should also play a key role in teaching the kids sportsmanship. I don't know how many kids I have seen storm into the stands after a match and throw their headgear at their parents and blame them for their loss.

Nigel you are exactly right. It is up to us, coaches and parents, to handle our kids on the mat. Your job as officials is to call the match not dicipline our wrestlers.

"Referees are allowed to disqualify kids from tournaments for this behavior, although most of the time we don't."

Nigel,
I have talked with several referees about this very subject. I understand that this is a very intense sport, however I feel that unsportsmanlike conduct should not be tolerated at any level. The rule book clearly address this, Rule 7 section 4 and section 5. Over the past few years I think most will agree the level of unsportsmanlike conduct by wrestlers, spectators, and coaches is becoming completely out of hand. With that in mind, I would ask you and all officials to step forward and use your authority to help bring these situations to a halt.

I would think that if the referees start to give those people who are exhibiting inappropriate behavior warnings that their behavior is inappropriate and that if it is not ceased immediately, they will face ejection, that they may start to watch their behavior more closely. If this does not help, then the officials need to use their authority and start to eject those who are causing problems. Perhaps when they realize that "we mean business" and will not tolerate inappropriate behavior, we will start to see a turn-around for the better.

Nigel I understand it is not the referees fault that our sport has come to this level. However, we are asking that the referees step up and use the authority given to them in an effort to help bring the sport back to where it needs to be. I think that you will be very surprised how many people will stand up and support a referee who uses his authority in these maters of unsportsmanlike conduct.

I agree
Amen

our coaches demand respect all the time. i know its hard after a match but our coaches tell ur to shake the refs hand and the other coaches hand then if we wanna get pissed do it where noone's around.

Absolutely. As coaches, parents and referee’s we are all custodians of this great sport. I feel if more coaches would pull there wrestlers from the match or tournament we would see a lot less of this. But coaches and referees can not take care of this by ourselves. It takes parents teaching good values to their children. If we all work together we can improve. Nothing like bad sportsmanship to give the sport or for that matter any sport a black eye.
Coach Jeff H

To Mr Keith and others,

While on some level I do agree that referees COULD be more forceful in these types of situations, I believe that ejecting kids left and right from tournaments isn't going to solve the problem we have. Its the same issue that we have with coaches in a manner of speaking. I ejected a coach from a tournament earlier this year because he was running his mouth. Afterwards I realized that what I had done probably didn't do any good in the long run. I knew that now this coach was going to talk bad about me behind my back, and that I was never goign to get any respect from him. Also I had many people come up and tell me that this particular coach has been ejected many times over the years, not only in our sport but in the football seasons that preceed it.

This leads me to believe that ejections over common occurances of unsportsmanlike situations isn't really serving the purpose it was intended for. Whether it be coaches or wrestlers. That is the reason I made my earlier post. We have to take care of the problem before they even step out on the mat. I know when I coached for Abilene Kids Club we had a strict policy regarding unsportsmanlike conduct, and if someone displayed this type of behavior they were subject to be kicked out of the club on the first offense. I think this is more appropriate solution to the problem, and I think it would save the community as a whole from having to witness these behaviors out on the mat at tournaments.

I agree that it is not the referee's job ALONE to put a stop to this behavior. Usually if a child acts this way it's because their parents tolorate it. We had a 13 yr old boy in our club last year that wouldnt shake hands when he lost, then he would throw his headgear when he got into the stands. His parents were ok with that but our coaches were not. At our next practice our coaches told the child and the parents the next time he does this he is off the team. He also had to apologise to his teammates for the way he represented our club and HAS NOT done it since then. I think that it would make a huge difference if kids and their parents realized that this behavior was not going to be tolorated.

I've seen some parents that need a good whooping. One time saw a parent beat her kid with a tshirt for crying!

I think that after todays display of one ref that maybe some of them should be ejected from tournaments. I will say that after several kids receiving injustice the official was finally asked to leave the gym. My question is why does it take so many times for this to happen? I had seen 3 kids lose matches because the official did not have a clue on how to give points and another almost lose from the same. I believe it pretty bad when it takes the refs and coach disagreement to have another ref intervene and tell the ref that made bad calls he was wrong. Unfortunately 3 wrestlers went home thanks to one bad ref.

We had a wrestler throw a real bad fit early in the year. I pulled the wrestler aside and we had a little talk. I gave him a warning that if he pulled the same stunt again then he was suspended from wrestling the next two weeks at any tournaments. Then the next practice his warning became everyone's first warning for the year. If any of them pulled the same stunt or anything similar they were suspended the next two weeks from wrestling. We haven't had any problems since then. I know everyone wants to win. It's in everyone's blood. We just need to teach them to control that anger and emotion when that match is over. Our kids have done very well this year conducting themselves in sportsmanship.

Packerholic4 - KUDOS to you!

Nigel, isn't your philosophy like police officers that don't enforce all laws? "Ah, that would be a lot of paperwork, I'm not pulling him over until he's 10 miles over the speed limit."

The problem with that mentality is that it is a rule, it is the official's job to enforce it. The intent of such rules is to eliminate such behavior. If it means removing the wrestler, you are doing exactly what the rule is designed to cover - elimination of behavior. The wrestler can either quit the tantrums or not wrestle. Pretty cut and dried.

When officials decide which rule they would rather enforce or not enforce, we're looking at chaos. I don't tolerate that behavior and have pulled kids out of tournaments because of it. Realisticly the official should have done it, but because he won't step up, I do it.

Does it upset parents? Sure it does, but if you're wrestling for a club that I'm affiliated with, I expect exceptional behavior on and off the mat. I know I'm not the only one that has done this and if a parent is truely bent on "it's just a phase, he'll grow out of it," then I encourage them to seek places where such growth is tolerated. Such behavior is not tolerated by the rules we govern ourselves by (though enforcement is suspect)in wrestling.

Granted, kids are kids, but it seems that the ones that throw fits are the same ones that do it time and time again. We have no room for babies in this sport.

Please Mr. Gibson don't lecture me about enforcing rules and not. To be perfectly honest I ejected another person this weekend because of poor behavior, as much as I didn't want to, I did. What I said with my earlier posts in regards to kids is, it shouldn't be the officials job to make kids behave in an appropriate way. Far too many times an official ends up having to take action on something that has already occured, for example throwing head gear and such. At that point the behavior has already been displayed, the ejection comes retroactively. As I said before I don't feel like this has any sort of positive effect on the person being ejected, at best in most situations it may open their eyes and cause them to be a little more cautious about the way they act. But most of the time they go right back to the same stuff the very next weekend.

Mr. Gibson, as a coach, you and all coaches alike have the most influence on the kids out there, you are the ones working with them in practice every week, you are the ones the kids look up to as peers. It SHOULD be you as the one controling what these kids are doing, it shoudl not fall back on the referees to do your dirty work. Your quote "Realisticly the official should have done it, but because he won't step up, I do it" makes me feel like you expect the officials to make YOUR kids conform to sportmanlike ways because you don't feel like you have to. That is completely backwards thinking. Officials are on the mat to judge contest and if need be punish those who break the rules. My point in this whole thing has been, there would be alot less rule breaking and thus need for punishment enforcement, if Coaches/Parents who are the first people these kids deal with, would start putting their foot forward first and make the kids realize the behavior is unacceptable.

I saw many times this weekend a kid slapping the mat and throwing a fit, and maybe twice all day long did a coach say anything to them about it. And you would like me to just throw kids out left and right for this? I'm sorry to say but that is not my job. I would rather not throw around blame for things like this, but I will say this, if a kid/coach steps out of a line that I have determined for myself to be unacceptable you can bet that I will take care of it, as I did this weekend, and as I will continue to do in the future. However I will not be a babysitter, and I'm not going to be the bad guy who throws out punishments because the people who should be quashing this behavior before it even happens don't want to.

I as a parent get frustrated over bad calls, but I try my hardest not to voice it. Sometimes, I will admit I don't succeed and I do apologize to my sons. They know who they are. I do not like to see coaches yelling at their wrestlers on the mat after a loss. What I do like, as an example the Clearwater High School Coaches, they talk to their wrestlers. If they actually yell at them...I don't know, only their athletes can answer that. And to see a parent yell at their child for lossing, you can blame them as much. A parent needs to be as dedicated to this sport as the athlete and to be their moral support. If the wrestler decides to go all out and be dedicated then stand by him/her and encourage them!

I also made one of my boys not wrestle a year because he was being a cry baby. It starts with how the parent handles things. They need to set the example!

Nigel,

I think you misinterpreted what I was getting at. We are both in agreement that there are other avenues that need explored before an ejection occurs.

Those avenues are as follows:

1. Parental guidance in what's acceptable and what's not. Throwing a fit is not acceptable.

2. Coach's expectations. Most coaches (I'd say all) coaches express to their athletes what is acceptable and what is not. This is the line, do not cross it.

If neither of those avenues work or if the athlete chooses not to follow them then the third comes into play.

3. Officials. An infraction is made, call it.

I would liken the fits to teens breaking the law. For example we learn at a young age it's illegal to steal. Mom and dad tell us at a very young age that it's not acceptable. When we get to school, we are taught stealing is wrong. Now most of us follow that simple rule - do not steal. However, there are individuals out there that either 1) prefer to learn the hard way or 2) have no parental support/guidance on the laws of society. Theoretically, we don't care if Tommy has had a rough life - he broke our laws, got caught and now must pay the penalty.

The same holds true in wrestling. There have been or should have been better guidance from a variety of options, but when unacceptable behavior/unsportsmanlike happens - it's up to the official to make the call. They are like a judge and when you appear before the judge, you better straighten up.

I've only been thrown out of 1 tournament in my life and I was 21 at the time. I let my emotions get the best of me and I told an official he did a crappy job of calling an illegal hold (I still maintain it was legal, but I lost my composure). We were in the state semis and I was coaching a kid that was having an excellent tourney.

When he threw me out, I knew I crossed the line, walked over to him and said, "I know I'm out and I apologize for my beharior." I watched the rest of the tourney from the bleachers.

Kids know right from wrong. Letting them pick and choose how to act without ramifications is wrong. When you are the end of the line, you are to make the appropriate call - not defer it back to the parents/coaches. That's all I'm saying.

You can see bad behavior from kids and parents in any Walmart checkout line. Every sport deals with poor sportsmanship, and with its high intensity and large numbers of kids and matches, wrestling probably has the highest potential for poor sportsmanship. That being said, the overwhelming majority of these kids are tremendous kids and great sports. For every thrown headgear you will see ten kids give each other hug each other after the match. For every opposing coach who has been bad to me or my son, there are fifty who have given heartfelt consoling or congratulations. For every opponent my son has had a bad experience with on the mat, there are many many more that he has become close friends with and has exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers with. Most of the parents in and around my sons weight are very nice people which we know and visit with at each tournament. They wish our son well and we their's.

I know there are incidents at most every tournament that are we see that are sickening. I too believe that we have to deal with these people and issues. I just think that sometimes on this forum we fail to recognize the good sportsmanship that for the majority prevails. Anyone reading this forum who is not familiar with kids wrestling would get the impression that a wrestling tournament is the worst possible thing to subject a kid to--full of bad officiating, coaching, parenting and children.

Again, I am not condoning the bad ones, just trying to recognize the good ones.

Good luck this weekend!