I think it is OK if a kid is hard on themselves , that is how they have to work through it. The more competative kids will deal with loss differently than other kids and that is OK. Your clubs should monitor the parents and coaches for behavior that is not constructive. We have a list of parent guidelines in our club that was modified from the club handbook. They are as followes:

General Guidelines

1. Do not impose your ambitions on your child. Remember that wrestling in the Osawatomie Wrestling Club is your child’s activity. Improvements and progress occur at different rates for each individual child. Don’t judge the progress of your child by the other wrestlers around him/her. Do not push them on how you believe they should be doing.

2. Be supportive no matter what. There is only one question to ask your child, “Did you have fun?” If practices and tournaments are not fun for your child, you should not force them to participate.

3. Do not coach your child. You have brought your child to the Osawatomie Wrestling Club and there are certified coaches and staff there to help them. Do not undermine the coaches by trying to coach your child on the side. Your job is to support, love, and hug your child no matter what. The coaches of the club are responsible for the technical part of the job. You should not offer advice on technique or mat strategy. That is not your area. This will only serve to confuse your child and prevent a wrestler/coach bond from forming. Always have positives to say at practice and tournaments.

4. Get involved with the Osawatomie Wrestling Club. Your club needs your help and support. Attend all parent and club meetings to find out how you can help.

5. Acknowledge your child’s fears. During wrestling practice and tournaments, your child will get his/her face rubbed in the mat and they will cry. You should always be there to support and encourage when this happens.

6. Do not criticize the officials. These guys are officiating up to 100 matches a day and they have heard it all. The only thing it will get you is thrown out of the tournament and then who will be there for your child. You will see some good matches and some bad ones. Be ready for it.

7. Do not expect your child to be and Olympian. There are 120,000 athletes in USA wrestling. There are only 20 spots available for the Olympics every 4 years. Your child’s odds of becoming an Olympian are 1 in 6,000. Wrestling is much more than the Olympics. Learn to appreciate all that wresting can contribute to your child’s development.


There should also be checks on your coaches. If you see a problem, let another coach know and your coaching staff should be able to deal with it together with the help of the club representative that deals with conflict. I also realize that there are coaches out there that won't tell the truth about ages, weights, novice or open (we have discussed this on previous posts)so the parents should be ready to deal with that also. Wrestling can be, should be, fun for all.