I have no experience with younger wrestlers because my son only started wrestling as a Freshman. Once during his first season, his match came up sooner than expected and he was not prepared. He wrestled poorly and lost. He shook hands, but then threw his headgear as he walked off the mat. When I criticized his behavior, he told me his coach liked them to be "fired up". I told him very clearly that regardless of what his coach liked, his Mom could and would sit him out if he acted like that again. He still doesn't like to lose, but he's never shown poor sportsmanship again.

I also notice many experienced and successful wrestlers are able to show good sportsmanship on the mat and then after the formalities, they quickly leave the arena where they can then vent in private. I think this is fine and shows self-control and intensity.

Awesome points Alex! I just had to quote you (even though those reading this thread could easily have read it for themselves).

I too, have seen waaaaay too many (in my opinion....and many others i suspect) kids throwing fits. Meltdowns will happen from time to time, especially in the lower ages, but when it is repetitious, it's tired, destructive, and reflects poorly on the individual, coaches, club, tournament, and the sport we all love.

Parenting (when actually done) is not easy work (and trust me, I'm not the best by any means). We can all see pathetic examples of poor parenting all around us. It's not fun or easy to lay into your kid when they have done or are doing wrong, but if you don't, you, and more importantly, your kid will pay the price down the road...guaranteed...one way or another.

The popular culture always seems to be able to explain bad behavior in kids (or even adults for that matter) for us is touchy feely BS terms that result in idiotic failed (countless examples everywhere you look) approaches that further end up shaping and molding kids that are these meltdown types we've all seen.

Self-esteem is not awarded, it's earned. Good behavior in kids is not some random chance thing. True all kids are different, but if you, as a wet-noodle parent throw up your hands and whine "he won't listen...blah...blah...blah.." Shut up and keep doing the hard work of disciplining your meltdown artist or you will end up getting a phone call from jail from your kid when they grow older...or worse, you'll get a visit from uniformed officers asking you to come down and identify your kid.

Also, make sure the coach and club you and your kid are involved with have a strong and disciplined "code of conduct". Not necessarily something that is hard-coded in some document, but at least their approach, etc. If they allow meltdowns, involvement by out-of-control parents, etc... you need to find another club. Get your kid away from these poor examples of behavior, or again, you and they will pay the price at some point.

Excellent thread.

These type of posts give me hope for our sport and organization. I might add, a key phrase to be very wary of by a coach, "standing up for my wrestler".

Great advice for all to follow sportfan02 I have 2 boys that wrestle and they "KNOW" that a melt down "WILL" bring the clubs coaching staff (LCWC) down on them "FAST" but fair. This is something that is at least highlighted at every pratice ie: some form of sportmanship on or off the mat. I try to tell my boys that "you wrestled well" or "I have seen you wrestle better". Then I ask them what do you think happened? They usally are right on with what happened ie the kid was stronger,faster or more mat time. Ok now that you know what he/she got you with "TODAY" are "YOU" going to allow them to get you with the samething tomorrow?? "OK you need to get with coach and work on that (what ever that is)the choice is yours get better or get bet again.(with the same thing). So far this has seemed to work. Neither the coaches or I have had to pull either of them from a event but they know that is stillout there for us to use.

I do not have kids involved in wrestling nor am I a father. I know little about the sport of wrestling or the people involved in kids wrestling. I feel I can provide a unique perspective to those of you who are "wrapped up" in the sport. I have done alot of officiating in both baseball and basketball at the elementary level, high school level, and few times on the collegiate level.

The sporting atmosphere sets a unique stage not seen or experienced in everyday life. It is unfair to assume that if a child "throws a tantrum" on the mat/court/field that the child acts like this in a everyday setting. I have seen many children act in a manner during competition that would not be allowed in any other setting. Also just because a kid throws a fit after one match doesn't mean they do it everytime. I AM NOT condoning fit throwing as it made me furios when I officated. I do believe there should be some reprimand for the child after the fact in a different environment. My point is that parents AND officials need to know that alot of these kids bust their butt all week long and put alot of emotion into their wins or losses. Also we see grown men/athletes who make millions of dollars throw fits everyday. So it is unrealistic to think that a child will not get wrapped up in the atmosphere. Oh yeah I was at state this weekend, and what an overwhelming astmosphere. All those things come into play. Don't think that a 7,8,9 or even 12 year old isn't affected by the atmosphere no matter how many times they have been in it.

As an official you have to understand that part of your pay check is being able to handle people telling you what to do, (including kids). It happens, and if you can't deal with it, do something else. I know there are rewarding times, take the good with the bad. Officiating is not for the faint of heart, and if it bothers you don't let people know because "it makes you look weak". I totally disagree with punishing the child in front of everybody while pulling them off the mat. The communication must be done in a different setting otherwise it will not get through. A parent must restrain themselved from that just like the child has to restrain themselves from throwing a fit. What I hate more than anything is seeing a parent yell at and belittle their child in front of everybody.

When I have a child and IF he or she decides to compete I will be greatly disappointed if I do not see them greatly bothered after losing. That means they don't care and we all are just wasting our time.

A mom got kicked in the face?! If it was by her own child I put the Austin 3:16 rule in effect and make him go pick the switch off the sticker bush.

Part of my paycheck isn't people telling me to how to do my job, my paycheck is from me knowing my rules and enforcing them. I do not have too nor will i be told how to do my job. I don't come to your job and tell you how to do it do i? Why should you with mine?

As to the atmosphere comment, let's be honest, just because we're at State we can react different? We can have tantrums at State because of the hype? I'm just saying it's a great energy to feed off of and can be distracting but that has nothing to do with one's character, and with that point I will hold my ground. It's all about one's character, if they are a champion they will act like it, if not we'll all know what they look like.

Alex

No your wrong. Officiating is, always has been, and always will be not only knowing the rules, but knowing when to listen to the pleas and when to heed the pleas. I know you can't and shouldn't do it all the time. For what it's worth all the wrestling tournaments that I've been to in the State of Kansas the officials have done a great job of this.

The atmosphere isn't an excuse but again we are talking about children. Atmosphere does affect the way we act especially as children. Again just because a child throws a fit from time to time in a competitive atmosphere DOES NOT mean they are of poor character or in need of alot of redirective punishment.

Officiating isn't about listening to the crowd and responding to what they want. It's about doing your job. That means sticking to your calls, making the call on what you see, and doing the best you can. You can't be influenced either by a coach/wrestler/crowd or you won't survive very long. If you can find me a contract for an offical that states you don't need to know the rules but you have to listen to the pleas of everyone. Out of the numerous contracts I've received not one says you need to know the rules and respond with the atmosphere as needed. I'll conceid my position if you can provide me with it.

Throws a fit from time to time means it's a regular occurance and something that needs fixed. If it happens more than once it starts becoming a problem. They start seeing it as a way to react to a loss or other scenario they start doing it all the time. The parents/coaches need to step in and tell them to find another way to handle it or they will be punished. No one wants to be around or be a part of a team full of kids with attitude problems. I know I as an official won't handle it, I will remove the problem if it becomes severe enough.

Kids need to have concequences when they act out be on or off the mat.If you dont do it now your son/ daughter may grow up to be the next Pac Man Jones talented but very troubled