Ejection from a match can only come from flagrant misconduct.

Failing to shake hands is defined as unsportsmanlike, but not flagrant misconduct.

At the official's discretion, repeated occurences of unsportsmanlike behavior may lead to a flagrant misconduct call, but failing to shake hands by itself is generally not considered cause.

This same scenario occured at the NJCAA national tournament, except the referee did eject the wrestler and the lead official had to over-rule his call and reinstate the wrestler.

Perhaps the referee wasn't more tolerant, just more knowledgeable as it wasn't "definitley (sic) cause to eject him from the tournament."