I am glad to see this topic getting some response. There are so many things that could be included here, but I think the bottom line is with dads coaching their children. Let me tell you, I was one of the worlds dumbest dads in this area, especially in my early days. I will forever be grateful to three people. Keith Kersey, our first kids coach in Oklahoma, Jeff Harrington coach at the Derby Club, and Coach Ed Edison of Wichita NW Grizzlies. All three, in wisdom, direct, and straight forward way addressed my issues. There was another pivotal moment though, that was seeing the movie Reversal with Kendall Cross and Kenny Monday among others. I sat and talked with Kendall, Jimi Petulla, and Alan Vint after the movie. Unfortunately, I saw myself in that movie more than I would have ever wanted to. Despite the negative criticism some have laid on that movie, it unfortunately portrayed wrestling in the way it really was, not only in the past, but for many, in the present.

Over the years I have shared some valuable lessons, lessons that has kept my son from being burned out, still loving the sport, wanting to wrestle all the time. I only wish I would have focused on a few other things but here goes. Things I have learned, not saying others have to but these were for me.

1st my first responsibility to my son and my children is to be their dad, not their coach. If there is difficulty distinguishing the difference between a coach and a dad, it is not the child’s responsibility to take the high road, but the parents. Why do we think that a child can make this distinction? Why don’t we just do what we know is in the best interest of the child.

2nd Yelling at a kid right before, right after, or during a match does nothing but confuse the child. In fact, I don’t know what yelling ever accomplishes. Again, this from a dad who was among the world’s worst. I have seen more dads and even a few coaches, loose matches for kids due to yelling at them during a match. If your wrestler doesn’t know what to do when they are on the mat, (in 90% of cases) then it isn’t the wrestlers fault, it is the coaches, or dads fault.

3rd when it all boils down, I think the most important thing you can teach a kid, is to #1 have fun, #2 do your best, #3 walk on and off the mat like a champion, no matter what.

I am not saying never discipline your child, in fact, disciplining your child from temper tantrums during a match, disrespecting an opponent, or things of that nature can take place, and should, off the mat, in private, and after you are calm.

Personally, I wish more parents, officials, table workers and the like would address these issues as they occur mat side. I also wish more tournament directors would provide ejections and insist on appropriate tournament behavior.

I have learned a lot over the years, and it has been a few now, I was far from perfect, still am. I have many regrets, many I will never be able to change. I have a strange suspicion though, that if these parents who are doing this to their children love their children, they will also live with regrets. Let me assure you, there are better things to live with than the regret of knowing you could have been a better dad to your child. In the end, I don’t care if my children don’t know me as their coach, I have every desire though that they will know me as their Papa.