Absolutely GREAT response. I have seen what verbal abuse, not to mention actual physical abuse, can do to kids. It does stay with them. Only those who find someone to support them & help them gain confidence have any chance of getting past it in even a small degree. Kids are our future and deserve all the love & support we can give them. Those who use abuse in any form (yes I'll say again "rationalize" their action) should be ashamed and should be held accountable. I'll not add anything further on this topic because the previous post says it very well.

Well put, Mighty. There is never any reason whatsoever to put your hands on a child with intent to harm, whether or not you believe it is "what's best for him." And if you think that "bringing a child down" by depricating him develops champions, perhaps you should check the following link, then go to a conference or hear a speaker on the subject. You will find that much more can be accomplished when you use logic rather than rage.

http://www.loveandlogic.com/

As an educator, I wish that it were required for all parents to go through the love and logic program.

On the other hand, I have coached several different sports at either the elementary, junior high, and high school level and I wish that all parents would also go through this program. Both of these programs make sure that we do what's best for kids.

http://naia.cstv.com/champions-character/

many of you are probably familiar with a generational group, coined "The Greatest Generation" by Tom Brokaw. I often use them as an example when discussing this and similar issues.

The men and women of this generation are some of my favorite people to meet and learn from. They are very "old school", they were raised in a harsh world, most often in the Dust Bowl, fought in WWII, and never complained about it. These people are extremely hard and hard working and this is how they raised their families. I was fortunate enough to be raised by a father who had two great parents of this generation. I was raised, much as he was: work hard, be good, and if you got in trouble, you felt it.

The "greatest generation" and the "baby boomers" mostly turned out alright, and carried the United States through great times of peril. One can only assume their upbringing as children, was what propelled them through the tough times.

As a brother, a teammate, a coach, and (hopefully) someday a father i plan on raising my children in the same way. I will NEVER touch one of my athletes, but I will not be afraid to put my brother or my children in their place if necessary. I will, however, use what some may call cruel, mean, or demeaning forms of motivation or punishment for my team, IF necessary. I believe that people who are ALWAYS positive give the children a bad idea of how the world works, and frankly, super happy people kind of annoy me.

Go ahead, tear it up, I will use my logic and reason to reply, not my anger. It is not the time nor the place for such.

You are muchbetter at putting my feelings into words. Somehow I put my foot in my mouth, and sound like some cruel hearted ahole when I try to make a valid point about discipliine. Are there some coaches or dads out there that verbally abuse their kids because it makes them feel like a tough guy? Maybe. Do 95% of the coaches and dads get in the kids' face because they have a valid point to make, or a life lesson to teach? yes.

I'll retire from this thread, I just seem to get in more trouble as I go.

During the tournament, I had a parent tell me that two of their kids witnessed what must have been this incident. I kind of wondered if the kids weren't exagerating, but they described it as it was posted. They were outside rolling down the hill having fun. It apparently scared the heck out of them.

Only one more post, to clear my name. I don't like it when people only post the part of a statement that helps their argument. Here is the full statement that I made:

"I agree that there are some people that shouldn't be allowed to have kids, but most of the time, there is no incident that happens between a father and a son that they cannot put behind them and carry on their relationship. "

Just to clarify.

You did the right thing by yelling at this guy. It's like one of our supreme court justices described pornographic material. He could not describe it but he "knew it when he seen it". Thats sounds like what you described. You know what you saw.
I have been around this sport for a long time and I've seen clowns being stupid and I always said I would never do it but I've also found myself on that line before and I thank God I didn't cross it with my son.
I witness DOUG747 in action this weekend with one of his wrestlers that was being, shall we say, less than acting in a sporting manner after a match and DOUG747 took care of business right then and there. He didn't abuse the kid but he let him know that stuff was not going to be tolerated. I also know it was not his own kid that he put in his place but I would bet my house that the kids father or mother didn't have a problem with it.

Here is the catch 22 fathers find themselves in, you tell your kid that you have to work hard and train like a mad man, eat the right food and get your rest, your kid does it and they still don't win the big match. One of two things happens; (1) they throw a fit right there on the mat or (2) they look at you and say now what smart guy, I did what you said and I didn't win.

How you as a parent react to this situation will often determine what your kid gets out of wrestling.

I know throwing your kid against the wall and choking him out is not the right thing to do.
DOUG747; if the guy who did this is reading this post, he is the ahole, not you.
This is a tough sport done by tough people and having said that I think the best thing to do would have been have your wife go get a cop and the husband follow the guy and make sure the kid was going to be OK. Let them sort it out and you would be sleeping better..
Just my 2 cents..

I just can hope and pray that the boy is ok. May God place his hands on this little boy and help him through the tough times.

Everyone thanks for you opinions and thoughts about this it will set in our minds and hearts for a long time to come.

Congrats to all at state

Have a great summer

See ya next year

Todd