Can anyone give me any ideas to help with my son's burn out? This is the first year he has expressed this and I am not sure how to help him.

2 years ago, our son was "burned out", not wanting to go to practice, not even trying on his matches. We decided to give him a year off. He didn't decide until it was a week before signup to actually wrestle again, and believe me, it was hard on us taking a year off, because we love the sport. Since he has started back, we haven't heard one complaint about anything, and it has been wonderful. We figured that we would rather him take a year off before high school started, then being burned out during high school.
Sometimes we have to sit back and listen to our kids, after all, this is for them.
Good luck!!

Before we sign our son up and pay fees for each tourney we always ask him if he wants to wrestle "this week". Most weekends he says "yeah" but on occasion he has said, "no, I'd rather blah, blah, blah". Even though I'd like to see him wrestle every weekend because mat time helps at his age, it's his life and his decision. I think taking a weekend off every three weeks or so helps with burnout.

Hope that helps.

I agree with newparent. Let it be his decision. For us this has worked out well. He decides if he wants to participate in a tournament each week. It is the same with any other sport as well. He decides, end of discussion. No coersion. He is the one putting forth the effort so he gets to decide when is done or when he needs a break. So far he has never missed an entire wrestling season. One yer he played 6 weeks of basketball and then wrestled 6 weeks and did quite well.

If it was early in the season, I would agree some time off may be the answer. But what do we do now? Districts is in 2 days and State in 9 days. He is a 2X state champ with a really good chance of repeating.

Why is it always turned around on the parent? All I did was ask a simple question of if there is anything we can do. This is our first time experiencing this and wanted other parents suggestions. I did ask him last night if he wanted to wrestle the year out and HE said "yes". I just wondered if there was anything we could do to help him these next three weeks.

I hear ya WP. I had a high schooler with an above-average amount of talent despite not having ever wrestled before HS, do very well, suddenly without warning, give it up a few years back. Was a complete shock and totally difficult to watch and experience as a parent. But, it was his decision. I tried everything in the world I could think of positive to help, but didn't work. I can only hope that in the future it isn't regreted on his part.

Given your immediate scenario, and my apparently ineffective approach, I'm not sure what to offer. One person who very well could offer some good avice though would be Nathan Furches' father. I read everything I can get my hands on that he writes.

Good luck.

I have seen so many top notch wrestlers fade away, or just flat quit because of "burn-out". The most common thread amongst them was the screaming parent at matside and AFTER THE MATCH. The kid knows if he screwed up, the parents dont have to keep reminding him. He has enough things to battle, let it go, smile, and remind him you are on HIS side.

For long term, basketball is a good thing. The more sports a kid is exposed to the more they will see that wrestling is the ultimate sport. Both my kids have done both at the same time. After playing b-ball, they almost always come back inspired to wrestle. Last year the youngest played a full season of b-ball and still had time and energy to win 12 tourneys including the STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

Like deanstraus said "its not a life and death decision". When the kid makes it, it will be his and he will be the one that pushes to make it happen.

I agree with everything said, taking time off or a little time away is a good thing. I would even suggest planning to take a weekend off during the season.

Another factor sometimes is that kids get tired of having expectations placed on them every weekend. Some kids are delivering the message that they've had enough of the "stress."

But two days before Districts is really tough timing. If you would have known this two weeks ago you could of planned a weekend off! But now all you may be able to do is remove as much stress as possible from the kid.

And to give deanstraus a little break, "why are things always turned around of the parent?" Because the parent/coach is responsible about 95% of the time.

Good luck to you and your son this weekend!

Randy,
I appreciate your information. I know he has alot of pressure and I am sure we as parents do not even understand what they are feeling. We are just going to support him.

What about parent burn out?

I personally feel that the wrestling season is too long. Five months of a year is too much to ask for any young athlete to devote to just one sport. It seems like things are going good the first few months but when it gets towards the end of the season, burnout becomes more of an issue. The weather is getting warmer and friends are wanting to play outside, not sitting in a loud, hot, cramped gym all Saturday. Then, you have friends leaving to go on vacation for Spring Break while you still have intense practices before heading on down to Topeka. I would rather see a kid only compete at 4 or 5 tournaments a year until they are 12-14 and have them out for high school wrestling than to see a 6-10 year old compete every weekend and then get burned out at a young age.

Not picking on you mom4, but we hear this too often that the season is "too long". The season is as long as you make it! If you don't want such a long season don't start till after the first of the year. Our club will accept a wrestler at any point in the season that they decide to join.

I think you brought up some good points about the weather getting warmer and friends leaving on vacations for Spring breaks making it difficult for some of the kids, especially if they have been at it for several months. Kids are getting to the point that they are wanting to get outside and enjoy themselves.

My son is a 9th grader and he would have been competing in his second year of 14 & under. He has been wrestling since the 1st grade. He just completed in his first year of wrestling in high school mostly JV with ten varsity matches this year at Aquinas. He had about 2 weeks off after his final JV meet from competition and had decided on his own to compete in Kids. He wrestled the Ottawa Kids meet before Subs and did very well there. I thought he would do very well this year at State. But he told me that next week that he was burned out and did not want to wrestle the remainder of the Kids season.

My son has never complained about going to folkstyle practices before. He was always pysched about the Subs, Districts and State. I could see physically on him after Ottawa that he was drained and had no fire for the remainder of the season. It was tough for me because I really liked what I saw from him at Ottawa and I wanted to watch him wrestle more. I was planning on taking him to Brute Nationals too. I decided he was old enough to make this decision. He had wrestled hard six days a week from the middle of November to about March 4th. I really believe he was ready for a break.

I am hoping that after four weeks rest that he will be ready to start practicing freestyle. He told me that he thought he would be ready for that after a short rest. It will be his decision. I don't want him to burn out. I want him to continue to love and look forward to wrestling. I feel if I let him control his own destiny with his sport now that he will not burn out and will continue to enjoy it. That is more important to me for him.

My son wrestled for four years in Youth and one year in MS. He was always very active, playing 5 or 6 sports every year plus doing music. He decided, after last school year, that he wanted to try for a Div. I nationally-competitive musical group and asked me if I minded if he gave up a couple of sports, including wrestling. I told him he needed to do whatever he felt was best for him. So, he put all his energies into his music after football ended and is now the youngest contracted member of this world-class musical group for 2006. He will get to travel all over the country from 5/26 through 8/12 this summer, and get to appear in places like Mile High, The Alamodome, Hoosier Dome, Georgia Dome, etc.
Sometimes you need to trust the kids to do what is best for them.

Last night my son's attitude was different about wrestling. We made sure to keep the topic away from wrestling and he brought it up, talking about moves he did in practice. I think some of his "burn out' right now is coming from practicing against a junior in high school each night and most of the nights, getting handled. He is not used to this and I really think that is the problem. He seems ready for tomorrow, so we will see.

Thank you for all the advice and I will all your wrestlers luck over the next 2 week ends.

Burn Out- It is the toughest thing in the world to go through both as a parent and a wrestler. Parents get to watch their children grow up in wrestling and then BANG they hate it. They struggle to get through another year. I see it alot in the High School freshmen and sophomore age group.

Kids have to push themselves through this tough stage understanding that it will make them better people and wrestlers in the long run. Important to remember- Win lose or draw in this period- they need to take something out of the match. Learn from it and go on. I spent an entire year losing because I didn't care- of course my parents got onto me because they spent alot of money on me wrestling and wanted to see me not give up everytime I stepped on the mat. Once I came out of the misery I realized I was better for it. Paretns need to be supportive but yet firm. Trust your heart and ask God for help in tough times when raising your kids. Wrestlers need to find support in peers and coaches to keep them pushing ahead. Understand you need help getting through this tough time and having friends that keep pushing you could make it all good. Have fun by letting go after each match and enjoying the time with friends and family

I think the most puzzling thing about my son's burn out is he has had a very sucessful year. His record is something like 34-2. So if anything he should be excited about wrestling....
But no matter what, what ever he decides to do next year, we will support him.

one year ago, our son became burned out. He told us a week before subs he didn't want to go. This was really hard to take, he is a good little wrestler. We accepted it and he sat out last year. This year we have seen a big improvement! He doesn't complain about anything, he looks forward to going and seems to be enjoying the sport again. I think it was a good thing for us.
We now let him decide his weight (which we monitor) and the tournaments he would like to go too. IF he decides ever again he wants to sit out we will support that decision. Good Luck with your situation!

It may be good to talk to your son about his practice partner. If he is getting handled most of the time, it can be frustrating, but it usually makes his own opponents seem much less threatening. Make sure to point out the improvement you see.

My son was lucky enough to have one of the best partners anyone could hope for in his first two years of high school, both as a wrestler and as a person. His partner graduated as a 2x state champ and is now wrestling at a great college with a demanding curriculum. My son was very fortunate to have this opportunity and he did benefit from it.

There's no shame in getting handled at practice if you're outmatched, but still giving your all. It can be discouraging and frustrating, but try to point out the benefits and make sure you tell him when you notice the improvement.

Good luck to your son the rest of the season!