What a day, I am making my last post for today and won't be back for awhile. I really need to spend more time alone today, because to be honest, I am having a pretty rough day. I just came on and saw the last couple of posts and wanted to post what I have been sending to the many people who have been emailing me from across the country from the posts they have observed here, in Oklahoma and on the National Forums. The question is always, Why? I'm not saying I have the answer to that question, the answer is something we all have to search for, it is one I have searched for and am going to include in part my answer here.

Before I do that though I need to make a comment here so please allow me that. Kansans are blessed, blessed, more than we will ever know. After living here and attending college in Hillsboro from 1978 to 1985, we were moving to Greenville South Carolina for me to work in the music business. My family and I always knew that we wanted to come back to Kansas, my wife and others will tell you I called Kansas home even though I was never born here. I am so ever glad we did. Steph, yesterday it was tough talking to you and sharing the news about Tyler. I held it together for as long as I could, but this morning after speaking in length with Eric and Christina I couldn't hold it anymore. Kansas is so blessed to have such wonderful people and getting to know them through Tyler has been incredible. As I spoke with Eric this morning and he told me what he told Tyler last night, I couldn't help but start up again. I am so honored and pleased that my son's favorite wrestlers on this planet are Tyler Graebner, Eric Akin, and T.C. Dantzler. Thanks for going to see him last night, thanks for all you, your children, and your wonderful husband have done. Now my response to the question of Why? It is a little lengthy, but what is new? Right? Here goes and I hope it helps. It is not meant to be “the” answer but it is “my” answer, by the way SoonerMom, hope you don't mind, you inspired me put this down on paper, and while it was our conversation, I have found myself using it quite a bit this morning. I know one thing from all of the emails and response from across the country this morning, Eric was right last night, “Tyler you are famous.”

Why?

I just got off the phone with Christina and before that with Eric. To say the least, I don't want to cry anymore. I, like you, am having a tough time with this and while I think I know the answers in part as to why, I don't like that it was done on the back of Tyler.

I get angry with God at times, but this morning I realized that I am one in part to blame. I am a part of the blame because I haven't done enough to show my own children, or the children I am honored to coach that I love them. I in part am a part of the reason because I have at times been so caught up in me that I have forgotten about God's Great Commandment.

"Love your Lord God with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of your soul and with all of our strength, and then love our neighbor as yourself. Of all the commandments there is none any greater."

Truth is that I, and we as a society kind of approach life with an, “I'm it” attitude and, “nothing else really matters approach.” When in reality, a lot things we can have an impact on matters. What matters is going out of your way to get an 80-year-old widower another dog because he misses the companionship of the one that just died. Going out of ones way to give a kid 50 cents so he can afford the candy bar and soft drink he wants. Going out of your way, to tell a kid that you love them because you haven't told them in such a long time. Taking your own child or a niece of nephew out because you haven’t done anything fun with them in a long time. Obviously, I am speaking in generalizations here, but, I think that in many ways Tyler has taught us all about that. I don't like the fact that I learned it on the back of a 8 year old child, but that 8 year old child has made so many people better because of his life and love of wrestling.

You know, I have said for years that I believe that wrestling is God's favorite sport, maybe, just maybe, it really is. Maybe God has become so hurt at what has happened in our sport that he had to get our attention in someway. Then again, maybe he allowed it to happen because he loves us enough to let us do stupid things, stupid things like putting things into our bodies that cause cancer, stupid things like creating a world that is again, more about self service than it is about the service to others. I don't know, but I suspect the answer is somewhere around those areas. What I do know is that I will try to do what I can to change my life, and change my world, not for me, but for those that I am called to love, God and my neighbor.

I grieve and I cry, this morning actually, I balled like a baby. I don't remember ever crying so hard for anyone. That to me says something about the power of the message that Tyler and his family have given. My eyes are still teary as I type, but my heart is changed. As I concluded my prayer and time with God this morning, I was crying and begging for forgiveness, forgiveness for not doing what I knew I should be doing.

I still have questions, I just have to have faith that God knows what he is doing. I still have issues, but I have to have confidence that Tyler and his family is making this a better world because of what they have gone through. I still hurt, but I know I must continue and find a way to keep Tyler's attitude and spirit alive.

I hope that at some point, in the next month that we can look at the establishment of a Tyler Graebner Foundation to assist in the needs of those in the wrestling community who have immediate serious health issues, and to provide helps to assist low-income children to wrestle by dong things like helping with costs associated to wrestling. I want to wait on that, but know that if we wait too long that the spirit, and the drive to see it happen will also be squelched. I realize the need to act quickly, to keep Tyler's spirit alive. So much more can be accomplished if we act fast, we are moved and inspired, we might be tired, but the things we feel right now pale in comparison to the battle and difficulty the family is going through.

I have other questions but those are between God and me for now, maybe later I can address them openly and publicly but God and I haven’t worked things out yet. What I will say is that it is okay to wonder why. It is okay to get upset at God. I think he understands that. I believe that God appreciates our honesty. I have found that the more honest I am with God, the more I tend to eventually understand things.

In the last two or so years, I have lost 4 very close friends and family members to cancer. I know this, God has my attention now. This disease has to be fought with a passion. I don't believe that God gives anyone cancer, I believe that our world and our attitude of serving, "me" has given us cancer. We don't care about the fast foods we put in our body and the chemicals in the foods we eat, or the pollutants we put in our air and water, or the chemicals we put on our fields that produce more and more food. We want bigger, better, and faster all because we don't have time for the important things. That isn't God's fault at that point, that is our fault. I also understand though that I haven't really fought hard for monies to go into the research of this awful disease. In reality, a great deal of progress has been made over the years, but we obviously need to go further. I will fight for that and support that.

I told my wife last night, that from now on, as long as God gives me breath I will fight and help find a cure for this disease. I will give money, what little I can, and I will give effort. The truth is that there are hundreds if not thousands of Tyler’s in this world right now, truth is though, that we were blessed to know one where God made such a difference. That tells me something about Tyler, and the strength of James, Christina, Patrick and Amber. That tells me in part that God knew what he was doing when he allowed this to happen, or when he allowed us to do it to ourselves. God is still God, and I have to find assurance in that.

I think that this email was as much for me as it was to answer your questions. Thanks for hearing me out, it gave me time to reflect on things. On a side note I will be there as soon as we get Nathan done weighing in tonight. Weigh ins are in Augusta and we will be there first thing to weigh in and then take off to Hutch. I don't know what time that will be for sure but would imagine somewhere between 7:00 and 7:45. I'll be there tonight for as long as I can and am making a point for Mary Jane and Nathan to come with me, especially Nathan. God bless and let's keep each other in prayer.

Mike