Person who most needs to be my valentine: Bob Phillips
Most all-knowing: Les Brown
Best Reverse Name (tie): Prant Garker and Boach Clack
Worst Reverse Name: Mike Miller

Super_Duper_Mystery_Man is not suspicious at all, by the way. I have travelled to the ends of the Earth, but I have discovered his true identity. $5 and I'll tell you all. (Or if SDMM ever rolls me up in a mattress and beats the crap out of me again, I'll tell you then, too.)