I had the misfortune of watching the 8 and under mat today at the wichita classic. dont get me wrong the kids were great but the parents were absolutely ridiculous from some of the clubs. Fighting on the mat with other coaches, cussing up a storm and it was not just the coaches but some moms and dads as well. I dont like to put my son in a glass house but he sure does not have to be exposed to that type of behavior. On the way home my son asked, "Dad, why do some parents use the F word at one another after matches. He is 8, try to explain that, one club in particular and I will not mention it by name but from Wichita and blue in color and goes by 3 letters. If my son was a part of your club with the parent behavior I saw today, we would be in a new club tomorrow. It was absolutely ridiculous how the coaches, and parents of both sexes acted after and during matches. I mean come over and push a coach from behind after a match, to follow him out to the head table area.... your not just hurting your kid but giving wrestling a bad name. Thank God our club does not act like that, accepts calls from officials who are human and make mistakes and loves there little matratters win or lose!!

The more I think about it the more I think I am going to contact the club and let them know how embarrassing they were today. Get a life people its for kids to compete, learn values and have fun and being a coach for over 21 years, I can tell you from many experiences you are only hurting your son.

Just my two cents!!!

Kudos to all the kids at the 8 year old mat, you were better sports than your parents who should be setting the example.

Matratter

I applaud your speaking out. My son is in high school and when we were at state this year at Hayes I was shocked at entire crowds booing. The good sportsmanship I had always seen in wrestling prior was one of the factors that brought me to love this sport. After years of basketball and watching crowds yelling, throwing things, booing, and all other vile things, going to a wrestling match where the energy was just as charged, but completely positive was very refreshing. Then to have that myth shattered by bad sportsmanship (and they were the best teams, to boot!) Yell all you want - but keep it positive - those are KIDS out there!


"Excuses are the nails that build the house of failure".

I too had the misfortune of witnessing some very bad choices today. My son and I witnesses a father/coach physically push his son into the bracket boards out of anger.....I don't know what may have brought such an outburst but it was very sad to witness such behavior for any reason!!! I too wish that all the parents and coaches could step back and remember why these kids are out there and how important it is that we show them good examples.....

On the finals match of mat 2 (8 and under!) apparently police had to be called to the mat!?!? We were sitting on the other side and didn't see what was happening but what a disgrace to the sport that police have to be called to mat - especially 8 and under! And I bet that it wasn't because the kids were out of control. Hopefully names were taken and these coaches / parents won't be seen at subs. When does USAWKS step in and get this kind of activity out of wrestling because I agree that no kids, no matter what age, should have to witness parents /coaches behaving like this!

And for parents/coaches shoving kids into things at wrestling tournaments - there might just be a "mandated reporter" witnessing this. And they, by law, have to report such incidents to the authorities. There is never a reason to shove a kid over a wrestling match! If you as a parent/coach are not a mandated reporter - become one! Report these incidents to tournament officials immediately.

"Hopefully names were taken and these coaches / parents won't be seen at subs. When does USAWKS step in and get this kind of activity out of wrestling because I agree that no kids, no matter what age, should have to witness parents /coaches behaving like this!"

It doesn't help when ejections are later overturned!

wrestlingmom:

Please explain what a "mandated reporter" is.

Further, you ask:

"When does USAWKS step in and get this kind of activity out of wrestling because I agree that no kids, no matter what age, should have to witness parents /coaches behaving like this!",

As a reply, I simply point you to the following:

SECTION I: BY-LAWS

ARTICLE I – NAME, ADDRESS, FISCAL YEAR
1. Name – The name of the organization shall be United States of America Wrestling Association – Kansas, Inc. Kids Division. In addition, the organization may conduct its affairs under such trade name(s) as may be approved by its Executive Council, including but not limited to the name USAWA-Kansas Kids.

SECTION II: DISCIPLINE

1. Official Ejection

A. Anyone officially ejected from a tournament must leave the building, and will not be allowed to participate in and/or attend any other sanctioned tournaments. This sanction shall be effective for:

· 1st occurrence – 8 days

· 2nd occurrence – 24 days

· 3rd occurrence – one calendar year from date of ejection

B. The ejected person’s name will be placed on the Kansas Wrestling website (www.usawks.com). In the event the ejected person is a minor, only his/her age division, weight class and club affiliation will be posted on the website.

2. Cause – Cause of additional disciplinary proceedings and/or disciplinary actions can result from one or any combination of, but limited to any of the following violations:

A. Any action that tends to injure the good name of, disturb the well being of, or hamper the work of; USA Wrestling, USAW-Kansas or its divisions, chartered club, competitive member, affiliate member, official, coach, table worker, or spectator.

B. Flagrant and/or repeated destruction of personal and/or public property.

C. Falsification of documents regarding wrestling.

D. Disciplinary suspension and/or expulsion from a chartered club.

E. Disqualification from a tournament as a result of flagrant brutality.

F. Abusive language or unsportsmanlike conduct by a contestant, spectator, coach, table worker, or official.

3. Who – Disciplinary proceedings and/or disciplinary action can be imposed upon one or any combination of, but not limited to, any of the following violators: member of Executive Council, State Officer, State Committee member, chartered club, competitive member, official, coach, or spectator.

4. Action – Disciplinary actions can include one or any combination of, but not limited to, one of the following: reprimand, fine, probation, suspension, or expulsion.

In closing, USAWA Wrestling Kansas Kids is comprised of all members. If a member witnesses inappropriate action at a tournament, the member has the opportunity and right to file a complaint with the tournament director for investigation.

All too often, an inappropriate action is witnessed, and the witnessing party fails to take responsibility and stand up and report the incident.

As an adult, some years ago at a district tournament in Derby, I personally caught the hand of a parent before striking the competitor/child a second time.

The following year, I also informed a differant parent/coach, after my son complained this parent was hitting his son, and the son's mother threatened the father, that if he touched his son again, I would not hesitate to perform the same action to him. I am small in stature, however I have never shied from a battle.

It is easy to complain, and much harder to step up.

Richard,

A "mandated reporter" is anyone in the medical profession or teaching profession. They are required to report any suspected abuse to the proper authorities. (There may be other professions that also require this - I'm unsure)

I would think this would be a good requirement to become a bronze certified coach. And if you are a certified coach and shove anyone, whether it be your own kid or a kid you coach, that certification should be taken away. I am not a coach so therefore, have not taken the certification class but isn't abuse covered?

I agree Richard, that until all of us parents and coaches stand up against those who choose to act like this, nothing will change.

wrestlingmom,
While I would have no problem reporting abuse when I witness it I'm not sure I would want that responsibility "mandated" upon me. The definition of abuse is kind of like porn in that there is no good definition, but I know it when I see it. Some would consider it abuse if they see a parent spanking a child in public, I don't. As a parent I would prefer for any diserved discipline be done in private but sometimes that isn't possible. I would agree that many of the cases we see at youth sports events probably have nothing to do with discipline but rather poor sportmanship on the part of the coach/parent. But, if I'm coaching a child and that child displays poor sportsmanship then you can bet I'm going to get in that child's face about it. The age of that child would determine the intensity of the lecture. I personally would not curse or use degrading language but you can bet they will know I'm upset. I would never consider it necessary to discipline a child over a perceived lack of perfomance in an athletic event.
Another concern I would have about mandating abuse reports is the lack of tort protection.

I'm a teacher and yes, I am required to report any incidences of abuse that I see. BUT, there is definately a difference between parental discipline and abuse. Discipline is to correct a child's behavior, and the parent should be in control of their emotions. I am not the final say - social services then steps in and determines if abuse is indeed going on, or if it is a one time incident. I would never hesitate to report a child that I suspected of being abused, nor would I hesitate to step in and stop that abuse if it occured in front of me. I believe that we all should step in and report abuse when we see it. I have never had to do this, but I am watchful for it.

I see many cases of what I would consider abuse at tournaments all the time. Kids are sent out to run around hot gyms for an hour or two completely bundled up in sweats, coats, hats, etc. to lose a couple of pounds in a very short period of time. This type of activity has been proven to be very dangerous to the particpants heart and can cause long-term damage in a very short period of time.
Kids go out and wrestle with severe sprains, head injuries, etc. because their parents or coaches tell them they have to go on (you hear it all the time: Be a man, suck it up, etc.). All of this is abuse in one form or another since it places a child (and anyone under 16 is still definitely a child) in a physically or emotional dangerous situation.
My son had a mild head injury during his first match yesterday. Once seen by the medical officials there was no question in my wife and my minds what the right thing to do was. We took him home. His future health and success is too important to jeopardize for a match or two, no matter how big the tournament.

i was at the dist. one meeting to day and this was talked about, as of now i am not sure there was anything done about,but its something that if not stoped will only get worse. I have been a wrestling coach for 18 years and i seen the best of parents and the worse and belive me its getting worse. but at the same time its not the kids it the parents and just like the schools we are sending our kids to the teachers hands are tied and no one dares to get in and take a stand. I use to take a few kids each year to wichita but about 5 years ago we were treated like dirt and have not been back. our club is small about 40 kids and mabe from a small town we look at things diffent. all I hear about is going to big wrestling tournaments and making a showing of just how good i am ,but the fact is we need to go to our small wrestling meets and help our clubs stay in wrestling. them mabe the bigger tournaments would thrat people with respect and when something happens like this weekend they will be gone from wrestling and as fare as i am concerd for good. the people in charge need to inforce the rules that are in place insted of over looking and giving it to the few that give wrestling or any other sport a black eye. thanks for reading this and if you agree email me at icefishing22000@yahoo.com and if you don,t i still would like your ideas.

"Suck it Up" - I HATE that phrase. My 16 year old son jumped to block a pass 1st day of football practice this year and landed on his ankle wrong. When he told coach he thought he was hurt he was told to "suck it up". He hobbled across the practice field, the playing field, and across the parking lot to go to the phone to call his dad to come pick him up because he couldn't drive his car. Two days later we had pins put in his ankle. Those coaches felt bad afterwards, but still the damage was done. We would never say that to our little girls - why are our sons different?

grandad - yes, we need to show the big towns that we smaller towns have the class not to allow that sort of behavior. We should avoid those competitions that are poorly run until someone gets the message. :-)

sportsfan02 - Trust me I'm not out there stalking parents making sure abuse isn't happening. My point is that some of us, because of our professions, have to report SUSPECTED abuse. I am pretty sure that most parents who have been around sports for any length of time would know the difference between a kid getting disciplined and a kid getting shoved into a bracket wall out of anger. I'm sorry but if I saw some kid getting shoved like that I would have to let tournament officials know! On the other hand I know a lot of kids who NEED discipline who don't have it.

I'm just hoping that if more of us stand up against these "Parents/Coaches Behaving Badly" maybe they would get the message that this doesn't belong in the sport of wrestling or any other youth sports!

Yes, and coaches yelling derogatory remarks to the apposing wrestler during a match is bad as well!

I was also witness to the display on the 8U mat just a shame people get so wrapped up in an eight year olds wrestling match! The coach of the kid in the white singlet with red letters "from a state south of KS" instigated the whole thing. After his wrestler pinned the other kid from the other unnamed team in blue he proceded to stomp the mat give the one finger salute. And I don't mean number one! Gosh I would think that he was lucky that he made it to the head table. I can see getting disapointed over a loss but to win and act like that what a DISCRACE.

wrestlingmom:

Case history: My oldest son, now a senior in high school, began wrestling in second (2nd) grade. All the teachers at the grade school were aware of my son(s) participation. On several occasions throughout the season my son was sent to the office to have the school nurse/counselor look at bruises, facial scratches, and the like. At each visit, my son was asked if his father was physically abusing him. My son always told the truth, that the bruises were from wrestling practice or competition. This questioning persisted for two (2) years. One (1) evening I came home form work and caught my wife crying, and after much prying, had the story relayed to me. My wife had never told me of the intrusive questioning by the school for fear of my reaction. My wife was correct as I went straight to the school, met with the principal and school nurse/counselor, and promptly advised these professionals, that after the numerous interrogations of my son, if they had any further questions, to contact the State of Kansas, Department of Social Services, and file a complaint.

If they chose not to do so, I demand the questioning stop.

My son was never questioned again!

As you well know, our schools are an absolute mess, and I for one do not trust the judgment of many of the administrators and teachers.

I don't think anyone needs to go looking for abuse it's pretty obvious when it occurs. The first warning sign to me is when I see a coach/parent verbally abusing a ref over a bad call. I've been around this sport long enough to have seen thousands of bad calls at every level. To date I have never seen one that was either on purpose or worth losing my temper over. That's not to say I won't try to correct a scoring error or such or attempt to get a rule interpretation from the head ref but I will not question an officials judgement. I will make my case right up to the point where ONE of us begins to lose our temper then the debate is over. When I hear a coach at the kids level say "I'm only sticking up for my wrestler", my antenna goes up. More times than not, that is not the type of person I would want coaching my child. They may be the best technician in the world but if they can't teach my child about sportsmanship, I don't want to be around them. I find it so sad to week after week see red faced coaches up in the face of a referee hollering about a judgement call. Then we wonder or make excuses for the kids when they get to a higher level and display the same traits when losing. Like I am prone to say "some people just don't have the temperment for this sport"!

I am sooo sick of all of the perfect people who get on this forum and talk about stuff that they don't really know what is going on. I was the parent out on Mat 5 on Saturday, and I do apologize for offending anyone, however, when it comes to defending my son and family I will be right there for them. I do know I could have handeled it all differently and I wish I could take it all back.

For people who are getting on here and do not have a clue what Mr. Berry (the Oklahoma) coach is like, get on the Oklahoma forum and see what his State is saying about him. This man was kicked out of the tournament earlier in the day and the tournament decided to let him back in just because he had driven such a long way.... THIS IS THE REASON THAT THERE WAS POLICE AROUND THE MATCH BECAUSE OF HIS PREVIOUS ACTIONS ON PREVIOUS MATCHES, but I bet you didn't know that either.

After my son's match, Mr. Berry got up and flipped our coaches off and then started to "smacking his mouth off again" but I bet you didn't see that either. Then he proceeded up to the head table, (where he had been all day long) complaining that he was getting bad calls just because he was from Ok.)

If you want to talk about being embarred for the sport, let try to get the story straight.

My family has never been involved in something like this before, but in the heat of the moment, stuff like this happens, (except if you live in your glass house) and for those of you who said you could of just walked off the mat and put it behind you, then I guess you are better than me. Hopefully nothing like this will ever happen to you, and if it ever does... Hopefully you people will have better stuff to do then get on the forum and talk about it.

I wish people would start talking about the positive things that happen in this sport instead of constantly trying to stir up trouble for it.

Ma'am, no offense but I don't think you know what you're talking about. Coach Dryden is one of the most respected, and respectful Coaches in the wrestling organization. I don't belive for one minute he disrespected your 6 year old. Believe me it's not his style to "talk down" (as you put it) to anyone, let alone a 6 year old. The question in many peoples' heads now after your ignorant comment: Are you just mad because your son got beat by his son.....obviously more than once.
I belive your last statement was "grow up"? Practice what you preach lady, don't go around bad mouthing people when you don't even know them!

THIS WHOLE THREAD IS THE REASON THAT WE DIDN'T GO!

Maybe people will now understatnd the reasoning for my decision to stay closer to home. Thanks, Ottawa, for the well-run tourney and the good competition this weekend!